Let’s Ask Paul (about Sarah Palin, Paris Hilton, Dan Brown, the Pope and much, much more)
Wednesday, July 21st, 2010(I predict a riot…?)
You all know Paul: the octopus who predicted that Germany would beat England – admittedly not a biggie, presience-wise – before the Heimat would be defeated by Spain, who would then beat Holland in the final.
Which almost reads like Genesis – that is, all the begat this and begat that bits; which may explain why a Spanish zoo is now pursuing the British-born cephalopod with such religious fervour.
Now, I am quite happy to admit that I also find this tentacled oracle mildly fascinating but I’m pretty perplexed with the paucity of the questions asked of it.
Me, I’d love to do a series in some national newspaper, called ‘Let’s Ask Paul’ but only if I could bring up some serious questions too.
Like:
- Will Paris Hilton ever make another successful home movie?
- Never mind whether Obama can win a second term: With FOX and Palin braying for blood, will he even survive the first one?
- Will the next Dan Brown novel contain language?
- Will Gordon Brown and Tony Blair bury their past grievances for long enough to go kill (and bury the bloody remains of) Peter Mandelson?
- Will the Pope play the Pope in the new ABBA opera, “I believe in angels”?
- Will Sarah Palin kill her unwanted son-in-law from a helicopter in a shotgun wedding frenzy?
That kind of stuff.
Anyway, I don’t need any octopus to tell me that chances are slight that any newspaper will ask me to write such a series, so I might just as well make it a regular feature on this blog.
(Well, it was either that or THIS NIGHTMARE…)

















