(Miss Piggy? How many divisions has she got…?)
America bashing is a great and cheap and healthy bit of fun for all the family – and God knows, Americans do make it easy on their many critics…:
– ‘You’re not gonna use the pink ball’
– Duh: ‘A certain amount of brain atrophy is expected’
– ‘ “I Believe You Zimmerman” beer mugs’*
– ‘…because the bride was dying of cancer’
– ‘Disney has aligned itself with an obscure Miami gay porn producer’
Still, Americans can choose (not) to vote for Santorum. Russians don’t get much of a say about how long Putin will stay in the Kremlin or when he will officially change his name to Romanov.
Over in China, brain damage isn’t the only thing you suffer if you choose to believe in anything but the state’s stale orthodoxy. Go ask any member of the Falun Gong – or any Tibetan monk, if you can still find some who haven’t ignited yet.
Granted, in the US of A, there’s still racism but we’re not exactly talking Rwanda or Sudan…
… and if, in the States, there are even more cases of ‘because I’m worth it’ narcissism than racism and if quite a few American brides can go slightly Bridezilla, at least they don’t get their noses cut off if they even look at other men than their prospective husbands, stoned to death or married off to whomever raped her – as happens quite a bit in various places all over our planet, where the Peaceful Religion has become the Rapists’ Charter for every little psychopath with Mad Mullah Syndrome…
… and as for gay porn producers being embraced by the Mighty Mouse? Hey, like the man said: “In Iran, we don’t have homosexuals like in your country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don’t know who has told you we have that.”
So, all in all, for all their occasional madness, crimes and ludicrous behaviour, the United States are really not the world’s Big Satan.
They don’t even come close.
Why I’m all Oprah and Sharing This With You?
Well, no special reason. A few days back, I was looking for a Leonard Cohen drawing that I wanted for another blog post, when I saw the one below. I couldn’t use it for that day’s column but it stayed with me anyhow – and here it is:
*Dylan must be so pleased…!