Obama is the love child of Glenn Beck and Angelina Jolie (and wears Sarah Palin’s suspender belt)

They say you can hold a tea party near the water but you can’t make it think – or something…

so, don’t hold your breath on this one:

Among the disparate groups of Barack Obama’s detractors, the conspiracy theorists known as the ‘birthers’, who claim he is an alien interloper trying to destroy America from within, are among the most tenacious. Now the new governor of Hawaii has vowed to take them on and end the speculation.”

Right. Let’s suppose the governor of Hawaii will succeed in convincing each and every nutter living in the Bible (and Sarah Palin’s suspender) Belt that the Big Black Satan does actually and legally hold a US passport.

Would that really stop the Glenn Becks et al from uncovering new conspiracies?

Not that I necessarily blame them for this. Conspiracies are fun. No, if I have a complaint, it’s that it is rather lame to allow FOX News to have all the fun. I think all political parties and all networks should have a conspiracy department, that would be contractually bound to come up with a new conspiracy each week.

Can I say that the revolution starts here? Hell, it’s my blog, so, I can do whatever the Hell I want – so, yes, the revolution starts here, in these dying days of this decennium.

In other words, in the next four days, I will try and invent at least as many new conspiracies…

but let’s start with this one, today, as an amuse bouche:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did not adopt all those kids out of the goodness of their liberal hearts. Nor were those babies born in some benighted country, from poor but deserving parents. No, these babies were created in test tubes, in a lab in the heart of Wisconsin, by a team of Nazi scientists. All of them share genetic material, scraped from the fresh corpses of Hitler, Stalin, Mao Tse-Tung and Frank Sinatra…

and all of them are, even as I write, being groomed to become politicians, business tycoons, scientists, army chiefs and winners of America Has Talent. If they succeed, this will be the beginning of the End Days, otherwise known as The Raptor.

(Not all that topical but good fun anyway: THIS…)

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5 Responses to “Obama is the love child of Glenn Beck and Angelina Jolie (and wears Sarah Palin’s suspender belt)”

  1. Glob-a-log » Blog Archive » More fangs than a Twilight movie (Also featuring: men in black suits, Elton John, the Vatican and Dan Brown) Says:

    [...] Glob-a-log (Your daily dose of sex, science, satire, arts, politics, religion & sports) « Obama is the love child of Glenn Beck and Angelina Jolie (and wears Sarah Palin’s suspender be… [...]

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    [...] and upwards with the end-of-the-year conspiracy cycle. (You can find the first two conspiracies HERE & HERE.) Today, I will tell you about the big Global Warming [...]

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    [...] it is slightly more rewarding to uncover world wide conspiracies, like we did the last three days (HERE & HERE & [...]

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