…And a Bawling Baby Jesus to you too!
Ah yes, ’tis the season to waste your precious time doing stuff you really hate doing.
Putting up prickly trees, putting up with schmalzy shit coming at you from every direction…
… and, of course, this:
“Debrett’s New Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners is slightly more helpful. It advises: “Those who do not wish to send cards should place an announcement in the press reading: ‘Mr and Mrs Larry Lazy are not sending Christmas cards this year but wish all their friends and family etc’.””
Well, I’ve never sent a Christmas card to anyone, so I won’t start getting into that habit.
That would be like suddenly deciding that what I really needed was to start using crack cocaine.
So, if you want me to send you yet another boring, faux funny card, wishing you this, that or the other: Well, you’re not going to get any.
You could, if you are really desperate, print this column out and draw some festive trees, cows, cribs, wise men, shepherds and a bawling Baby Jesus on it and call the whole sorry mess a Christmas Card.
Then you can show it to all your friends and say, “Look, he even wrote ‘Happy Christmas!!!’ on it.”
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