Glob-a-log

First, the most beautiful sentence of the week, by A.A. Gill, in one of his Times columns:

“Scotland doesn’t have history, it has current affairs with a long memory. “

Then, the most stupid remark made, this week, by any public figure, care of pop singer Rihanna, from a tabloid interview.

“Every woman should have naked pictures taken. In five years my body might not look like this.”

Now, this quite funny story – which is also kind of stupid but not exactly in the Rihanna league:

“A vicar has warned his congregation of an increase in “satanic activity” after he found a severed sheep’s head mounted on a pole outside a church in his Gloucestershire parish. The Rev Nick Bromfield warned that “dark forces” were on the rise in the area and revealed a series of mutilated animal carcasses had been found.”

To be honest, I doubt all of this has much to do with any dark forces, be they on the rise or otherwise employed.

It’s more likely it’s just kids being bored out of their stupid, tiny skulls. We are talking about Gloucestershire, after all, which is not so much the armpit of the universe as one of its discarded toe nail clippings.

Anyway, the article continues:

“The “offerings” had been ritualistically laid out in circles or around stones in his three Forest of Dean parishes – Drybrook, Lydbrook and Ruardean. Bromfield has issued a warning to parishioners against dabbling in occult events, even those that may seem harmless, such as crystal ball readings or pub psychic nights.”

Such a brilliant idea…

Take away the few existing public pastimes still on offer in Gloucestershire.

That will surely stop those bored kids from putting any more sheep’s heads on poles…

Okay, perhaps it will stop them long enough to take Rihannaesque photographs of themselves and put them up on Facebook first.

(Can’t think, can’t dance, can’t sing…)

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 17:06 and is filed under Arts & Ents, Columns, Crime, Religion, Satire, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.