Why tonsures look like crop circles (or: Bulgarian scientists in secret talks with aliens)
(Strange we can believe in…?)
Oh well, ’tis the season to be silly and all of that:
“Aliens from outer space are already among us on earth, say Bulgarian government scientists who claim they are already in contact with extraterrestrial life. Work on deciphering a complex set of symbols sent to them is underway, scientists from the country’s Space Research Institute said. They claim aliens are currently answering 30 questions posed to them.
Lachezar Filipov, deputy director of the Space Research Institute of the Bulgarian Academy of Sciences, confirmed the research. He said the centre’s researchers were analysing 150 crop circles from around the world, which they believe answer the questions.
Yes, and it is so obvious, if you really think about it!
Aliens with the kind of technology that enables them to travel across the great vastness of space, without being noticed by any of our own telescopes, radar thingies and what have you…
… and who then move about all over our planet, still undetectable…
… and who then, in their alien wisdom, forego the stage of the UN, the lane of the White House, the Kremlin or the Chinese parliament…
… in order to make that so important Head & Shoulders type first impression by choosing to get in touch with the good folks of the Space Research Institute of the Bulgarian Academy of Sciences…
… by way of fucking crop circles.
Yes. Now I see the inevitability of it all – and the almost scary alien intelligence of it.
Mind you, as Mr Filipov states, he has more important converts than me:
“Aliens are currently all around us, and are watching us all the time,” Mr Filipov told Bulgarian media. He also said that even the seat of the Catholic church, the Vatican, had agreed that aliens existed. “
Of course, nay-sayers would argue that the Catholic church is not the most perfect character witness.
Until recently it also believed it was best to protect child abusing priests and it still believes condoms cause AIDS…
… so these negative souls might say that most of the reasonable world would not give a good Goddamn about whatever the Pope’s position is on any bunch of crop circling, little green men…
… but since this blog takes a harsh view on cynicism and negativity of all kinds, we won’t bring this up, of course. We will simply rejoice that we now are no longer alone in the universe.
Until now we only had the brotherhood of men. It’s so great that we now can join a larger, nobler community. I could even suggest a name for it.
Let’s just call it the galactic crap circle.
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November 29th, 2009 at 23:07
So: every farmer who’s had their crops flattened should be complaining to the Bulgarian government, then… since it’s their scientists who are asking the questions that these aliens are answering, it must be their fault that these particular crops are the ones to get splatted.
Seriously, though - just because some pope once agreed “it is highly likely that life exists on other planets”, that’s not quite the same as saying “intelligent aliens are here now”.
November 30th, 2009 at 03:07
OPbviously, yes… and even more obviously, of course… and, may I even say, quite obviously….
Seriously though - no, it ain’t (but that’s hardly the fault of the columnist,)
J.