The monstrous truth about Global Warming (Or: Jeremy Clarkson is sooo wrong…!)
Ah yes, it’s August, so it’s time for stories about UFOs and miraculous goldfish, of topiary poodles and, of course, the perenneal sightings of the Loch Ness monster:
“A security guard claims to have spotted the Loch Ness monster while browsing Google Earth. The image, which can be seen on the satellite mapping program, depicts a large object resembling a sea creature clearly visible beneath the surface of the water. He said: “I couldn’t believe it. It’s just like the descriptions of Nessie.”
Earlier this year it was reported that climate change may have killed the Loch Ness Monster. There have been no “credible sightings” of Nessie for over a year.”
Don’t you just hate Global Warming…?
It’s bad enough that those poor polar bears don’t have a floe to stand on anymore, or that the coastline of Bangladesh is moving up faster than Elton John’s hairline…
… and now it seems it might even have killed good old Nessie…
… and no, I’m not at all convinced by its resurrection on Google.
God knows you can find anything on Google. I just did an ‘Elvis spotted on Venus’ search and these were the first five (of 25.700) entrances:
1) UFO SPOTTED OVER TEXAS. Twin cousins witness the landing! ELVIS SEEN WORKING AT M&M’s
2) 1 Feb 2002 … This just in: Hundreds of schoolteachers in Houston reported the latest Elvis sighting Friday
3) Elvis Spotted On Venus!! Roseanne Barr Gives Birth To Squirrels!! Sinatra Evaporates! Ghost Of Nostradamus Haunts Danny Thomas!
4) Apr 2008 … Elvis Spotted Surfing in Hawaii.
5) Glowing Elvis “angel” spotted in Jerusalem 22 times since Jan.
No, I’m afraid Global Warming did kill Nessie – and I can prove it.
I mean, since we know about Global warming it’s not just the Loch Ness monster that’s gone AWOL.
No, we also haven’t had any “credible sighting” of Bigfoot in the USA, yetis in the Himalayas, leprechauns in Ireland or pixies on Iceland.
All killed by Global Warming, without a doubt.
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