Glob-a-log

(What’s your thing: Nipple shots or Stalin groupies…?)

There’s a relatively broadly shared view that communism was a rather nice, secular Christian type of idea that simply didn’t work because it really didn’t understand human nature. Which sounds reasonable enough (though it doesn’t quite explain how you get from ‘well-intended but flawed’ to the Hell houses that Stalin and Mao built.)

Capitalism is communism’s cynical older yuppie brother. Yes, he’s sold out to the man but, then again, he’s got a trophy wife, a yacht and (since a few months anyway) an impressive amount of really bad debts. So, while capitalism may have the natural charm and generosity of spirit of a Dick Cheney sex tape, it does know a thing or two about human nature.

In other words, as long as you don’t let it totally run wild, it kind of works. (Or at least enough so that most people buy into the dream that they will, one day, also acquire that trophy wife, the yacht and a government bail-out.)

However, there’s another difference between communism and capitalism that seldom gets a mention – and that’s the respective comic value of these two systems.

Communism, I’m afraid, scores very badly on the political laugh-a-minute index. Which is not terribly surprising, since it always starts out with small groups of bearded men being very earnest about the redistribution of wealth and ends with mad dictators killing millions of citizens in gulags and interrogation cells. I think it’s safe to say that even the most rabid admirers of Marx, Lenin, Stalin and Mao would admit that their heroes weren’t exactly Comedy Central material.

Capitalism, on the other hand, often is incredibly, almost excruciatingly funny – as the following news story from Japan shows:

“Along with choosing a dress and booking a honeymoon, there is one other item to add to the wedding checklist in Japan: hiring fake friends. Office Agents, a Tokyo-based company, rents out friends, work colleagues and even relatives to pad out the guest list. For £127, one of the company’s agents will attend the wedding as a guest, while a heart-tugging speech will cost an extra £64 and a song or dance will set clients back a mere £32.”

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 10th, 2009 at 00:30 and is filed under Columns, Politics, Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.