“Host in the post” (Or: The Sign of Lacrosse)
(Now, a ‘Pope in the Post’ would have been fun…!)
How cute…:
“The Open Episcopal Church has come up with a novel way of extending their reach into the community by offering to send people their communion wafers in the post. The “host in the post” service is designed to benefit those who would normally attend Eucharist but cannot do so because of age or ill-health.”
Ah well, we live in a world of gimmicks, so it might even work – and if it would seem a bit tasteless, not to say morbid, to send bits of the Saviour’s flesh through the post, like a retro serial killer, well, that’s par for the course for the organizing vicar:
“According to the Right Rev Jonathan Blake, the Open Episcopal Church bishop who officiated at the late Jade Goody’s wedding this year, it is also part of a drive to modernise access to religion, and even atheists and satanists can avail themselves of it.”
Yes, indeed, the guy who saw nothing wrong in being part of the Jade Goody Funeral Gravy Train, is still at it.
‘Host in the post’, indeed.
Next stop, perhaps, an Internet site for relics? Like, ‘Order your Jade goodies now and get some religious scratch cards for free’?
Maybe also a partnership with a seriously loaded sponsor. I can envision a new line of shirts, with a discreet little logo, depicting Jesus, hanging from an alligator, called: ‘The Sign of Lacrosse’.
Of course, there’s no reason why Christianity should be the only faith to go for fast food delivery services. Sure, with those communion wafers the Jesus heads seem to have cornered the mini pizza market but, as Deuteronomy has it, ‘Man doth not live by snacks only’.
There are also beverages.
So, I would propose that, in the oecumenical spirit, we should leave the sale of said spirits to the other two big faiths.
That would leave God’s Chosen with a potentially quite profitable line of Hebreweries.
Muslims, come to think of it, are not allowed to drink of the fruit of the vine but they could still make a tidy profit selling soft drinks and Bud Light in their new chain of Mekkaraoke bars.
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June 9th, 2009 at 21:44
Did I read that aright? Is this… person seriously offering the body of his Saviour to “satanists”? (I say nothing of atheists, because what would they do with it? Apart from the handy-snack aspect, obviously.)
Come to think of it, at 500 wafers for ten quid, that might not be a bad deal. I wonder what they taste like?
June 9th, 2009 at 21:56
Well, it depends on the level of trust you have in the (newspaper) source but the article states the good reverend was perfectly okay with flogging the body of his Saviour to Satanists.
He even claims that Jesus would have wanted this…
… and there we thought we knew nothing of Jesus’ sex life. It seems that being eaten by Satanists is His thing. (Ah well, volunteering to be flogged and then spiked to a tree, dressed in a loincloth should have given us a clue, I suppose.)
Not sure if 500 for ten quid would include postage – though I’m sure it would taste Heavenly…
J.
July 12th, 2009 at 22:50
My webiste has been offering h