Glob-a-log

(The joys of DIY…?)

Now, people are always going on about the perfect this or the perfect that. Lists of favourite music, cars, movies and, of course, movie stars…

… and each journalist, blogger or columnist knows that you can almost always get away with writing another list-based piece. Because there will always be an audience for lists (or cats.)

No cats today though - okay, one short paragraph to keep our feline junkies happy. So, here’s one cute cat picture and one strange cat story. On to the next, cat-free paragraph now.

Before I so rudely interrupted myself with that stupid cat paragraph, I was talking about lists of favourite things (because I obviously have nothing better to do right now and still have this column to write.)

So, most people, at least sometimes, make these lists in their heads. They see a car, or a house, or someone wearing a cool outfit and think: I wouldn’t mind having one of those, and those, and those…

Some people go for composite lists. So, for example, they would like to have Oprah’s bank account, look like Brad Pitt and have sex with Angelina Jolie.

Obviously, when you try to make a perfect composite fantasy figure, you need to be careful, unless you don’t mind ending up with someone who has the sense of humour of Eddy Murphy, the body of Jack Nicholson and the tastes of Hannibal Lecter.

Right, so you can guess where I am going with this - and here is my very obvious question: If you were given God or Frankenstein type powers and could create the perfect man or woman out of three (or more) celebrities, who would you pick for what parts and attributes precisely?

As I said, be careful out there - or, at least, don’t come back to complain to me when you’ve managed to provide your composite woman with Jolie’s tats, Oprah’s hips and Paris Hilton’s brains.

Anyway, have fun and, if you want, let me know what your favourite composite man and/or woman would look like.

(And the risks of DIY…?)

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 29th, 2009 at 17:36 and is filed under Arts & Ents, Columns, Crime, Diary, Lists, Satire, Science, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.