10 terrible chat up lines
(Virgin: Much more than simply an airline)
The most perfect chat up line I ever heard comes from a truly terrible pop song by the Bellamy Brothers. It goes, “If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me.”
Mind you, I very much doubt that it would work in real life but then I have to admit that I don’t believe in chat up lines at all – that is, I don’t believe that they ever work.
Okay, in a way they do work. Bad chat up lines do, I mean. You may never be able to get anyone to sleep with you on the strength of a good opening line but that old Head and Shoulders dictum that “You never get a second chance to make a first impression” works its magic every time, in the sense that a bad first line can blow your chances forever.
In other words, if you insist on putting your trust in the chat up fairy, remember that loose lips can do more than sink ships. They can seriously bugger up your sex life as well.
So, whatever you do, and whenever you try desperately to come up with something clever to say to the woman you want to chat up, don’t go for any of the following lines:
1) The only good feminist is a fucking feminist
2) The name is Bundy, Ted Bundy
3) You won’t believe what happened to me today at the clap clinic
4) If you don’t blow, we’re going Dutch
5) You’re not one of my wife’s stupid friends, I hope
6) Do you like bangers or banging for breakfast?
7) Hey, you know I saw that dress on eBay for two dollar?
8) Hi, my name is Colin and I’m a sex addict
9) I know a good dentist
10) Foreplay is for fucking wankers
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