Top 10 new weird Acronyms: From B.U.S.H. to O.B.A.M.A. (Through P.A.R.I.S. H.I.L.T.O.N.)
(BAT: Buying A Toupee…)
I just noticed that there’s another one of those fluff pieces in The Times, titled, “Top 10 beards from Karl Marx to ZZ Top”.
As top 10 lists go, this one didn’t really do it for me but you can understand why people write these things, from time to time. Some days, you just can’t be bothered with reporting or reflecting on the usual news stories and then it’s nice to fall back on the old routines. Like:
1) Cat columns
2) Celeb stories or a
3) Top 10 of this, that or the other
I’ve done all of those myself, often enough. In fact, the moment I finish this sentence, I will do another top 10, right here, as today’s column.
(Inserting a pause here, to give me time to make another pot of tea and think of a suitable Top 10 subject… BRB, as they say in the post-literate texting community.)
Right, so, here we go. My own top 10 of freshly minted acronyms:
1) ABBA: Abortion By Bloody Amateurs
2) BATMAN: Buying A Toupee Makes Anyone Nervous
3) BUSH: Buy Used Shit Here
4) IRAQ: Interesting Ruins And Quagmires
5) JAWS: Japanese Astrologists Worship Santa
6) KORAN: Kamikaze Oprah Revellers Anger Neighbourhood
7) NATO: Not Afraid To Overreach
8) OBAMA: Official Black American Muslim Association
9) PALIN: Parading A Leper In Nylons
10) PARIS (HILTON): Paranoid Apes Revolt in Senate (Hillary Is Likely To Outfox Newt)
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