After yesterday’s debate, McCain needs something new - and here it is! The Sarah Palin, Mark ll
(From Steve Bell’s “Hockey mom” series)
You know, when even Fox News agrees that McCain didn’t exactly obliterate Obama in yesterday’s last-chance-saloon debate, it’s obvious that his campaign needs a real game-changer.
Talking about the economy won’t do him much good. Voters, not unreasonably, blame the current situation on the guys who ran the country for the last eight years – and guess what, however McCain wants to distance himself from the Bush government, people still kind of remember that he is a card-carrying member of that club.
What’s even worse for the McCain team is, that, for whatever reason, the voters are not falling for the usual Republican Swift Boat tactics. Going negative has done McCain no favours at all.
Which leaves…
Well, which leaves him fuck all, in fact – barring a new faith-based military invasion of yet another country where Bin Laden hasn’t been hiding, or some terrorist attack within America’s borders. A Muslim attack, of course, and not the far more regular kind of terrorist attack by anti-abortionists.
Still, it won’t do for McCain to pray for either another frivolous war or a new terrorist attack. Well, he might still do both but it wouldn’t win him many votes if he held public prayer meetings for these divine interventions on the campaign trail.
Which, in the meantime, leaves him…
Well and truly fucked, as I already mentioned – unless… Yes. That might just do the trick…
While McCain’s picking Sarah Palin as his running mate didn’t work out all that well either - what with those witchcraft stories, the abuse of power and the Katie Couric interview - the whole idea of going for some unknown female with a bit of sex appeal and attitude wasn’t bad at all, as far as these types of desperate gimmicks go.
It’s just that this particular woman came with a few too many negatives. Still, it’s not too late for John McCain to go back to the drawing board and try to pick a Palin, Mark Two.
In fact, I found just the kind of running mate he needs. Less aggressive than the original model but with the same basic appeal.
Though she would need to replace the pink with some good old, red, white & blue, of course:
“Make a summertime splash with the Maui Flowers Dog Bikini. Your dog will not be able to resist this cute Spandex bathing suit. Our Canine Maui Flowers Bikini is two-piece for easy movement with a comfy and practical fit. Velcro closures secure the neck and belly, plus tail hole.
Sizes: XX-Small, X-Small, Small and Medium”
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