Top Ten German brothels stories (Part Two)
(Sting does ‘Stairway to Heaven’?)
Yesterday, I mentioned that, when people think of Germany, they still mostly associate the country with the following multiple choice type options:
a) Hitler
b) Sausages
c) Efficiency/seriousness/lack-of-humour or
d) Boring but highly successful football teams
What they won’t do is say, “Germany? Yes, of course, that’s where all those dammed brothels are!” Which is a bit of a pity, since we also saw that there are, in fact, four German brothels mentioned in the top ten list of the askmen.com site. Enough with the introduction though; on with the show.
5)
There’s this old saying, ‘The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.’ Well, what goes for the past, also goes for our celebs. We might enjoy the occasional Big Mac, they will order a private plane to have cocktails and caviar with Nelson Mandela. We might go for a movie afterwards, they will probably be in it. So, while most of us never suspected Germany to have more brothels than Lederhosen, our celebs were already going there as if German brothels were the next rehab. Take Sting:
Without his wife and family, a long way from home and in the dead of night, no one can blame Sting for feeling in need of a little company. But Trudie Styler and their children might feel less inclined to be understanding when they learn where he ended up in Hamburg in the early hours of Wednesday. The father of six was spotted leaving one of Germany’s most notorious brothels after a concert during the Police’s reunion tour. He was pictured apparently trying to duck down in the back seat of a car.
4)
Ah well, maybe Sting will be the last celebrity to be caught with his trousers down, for these so-called beautiful people don’t like to mix with the rest of us. So, as long as these German brothels were like some obscure designer specs (or strange designer cult) they would have the likes of Sting come over and dip in but you can’t expect our golden boys (& girls) to keep doing so when these brothels do something as vulgar as to start a mass advertising campaign. Mind you, as campaigns go, this one could teach the McCain camp a few tricks, so to speak…:
A German magazine sold out in a day after offering readers vouchers for a free sex session at a brothel in Austria. Prostitution is legal in both countries and the ad promised “half an hour free sex with a lady of your choice” for anyone who cut out the coupon and brought it with them on their next visit. Owners of the sex club report a boom in business since running the adverts.
(It always pays to advertise…)
3)
Yesterday, we saw, how one of these efficient but compassionate German brothels offered a discount to all out-of-work comers. I’m happy to say that this was not an isolated case; not just one brothel with a perversely obscure specialty. No, Germany is quite rightly famous for its welfare state, so, of course, its brothels do their civic duty too. In most Western countries, for instance, people are quite happy to put the old in ‘homes’ and throw away the key. Not so in Germany:
“Life begins at 66,” reads an advertisement aimed at old people in Germany. But it’s not promoting orthopedic shoes — it’s for a brothel which is offering a 50-percent discount to senior citizens. If you have to get old, Germany isn’t a bad place to do so. As well as generous state pensions, German senior citizens enjoy a host of benefits during their twilight years. Now, in addition to discounted rail travel, cut-price cinema tickets and cheap museum entry, Germany’s old folk have a new perk to take advantage of: a 50- percent discount at Germany’s largest brothel. The brothel “Pascha” in Cologne is now offering senior citizens a 50 percent discount on sex services — but only between the hours of 12 and 5 p.m., and only upon proof of age. The offer, which many would argue beats free coffee at McDonalds, is valid for clients aged 66 and over.
2)
You know what, though, German brothels don’t just offer discounts to the unemployed and the old – something that the above-mentioned McDonalds wouldn’t dream of doing – but they go much further than that. Yes, McDonalds may offer the odd McJob to some young lay-abouts with no more ambition than having enough ketchup to go with their fries but in Germany they take this whole issue of serious and satisfying employment a Hell of a lot further. So, these German brothels don’t merely offer discounts to male pensioners, they also have jobs for female pensioners:
As the world’s working population, at least in developed countries, ages it is going to be important for economies to address age discrimination so as to employ as many of the able, though elderly, workers as possible. This is just one of many reasons to enjoy the story of “Mumsy” the 70-year old bouncer of the Fraulein Mueller brothel in Hermannplatz, Berlin.
Evidently, Wiltraud Hotzl (who goes by Mumsy at the brothel) has things well under control. She “has no trouble turning away drunks and other undesirable clients who never argue with the aging bouncer.” Adding “If she hears of a squabble between the girls, she will shout ‘children, all quiet on deck please’. Total silence always follows.”
(Raising the flag for fun & profit)
1)
Alas, not all is well with the world – and not even Germany and its many profitable and joyously efficient brothels can change that. So, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that, even here, the Political Correctness junkies rule, with their Fawlty Towers type of ‘Whatever you do, don’t mention the Prophet’ cowardice. Yes, it’s a sad thing when even honest brothels are being exposed to Muslim threats. Still, there’s nothing that these brothels can do but grin and bare it. For German law won’t allow them to appease the irate followers of the Prophet by offering them the kind of nine-years’ old Aishas He would have approved of:
A Cologne brothel touting for clients with a World Cup-themed banner has blacked out the flags of Iran and Saudi Arabia after threats from Muslims. The giant banner on a high-rise building shows a semi-naked woman and the flags of the 32 countries in the World Cup, which kicks off in June. The Pascha brothel’s owner, Armin Lobscheid, said a group of Muslims had threatened violence over the advert. He said they had accused the brothel of insulting Islam by using the flags. First there were telephone threats of violence, then about 30 hooded protesters armed with knives and sticks turned up outside Pascha on Friday, the Koelner Stadt-Anzeiger newspaper reported.
(FIRST PART OF TOP TEN GERMAN BROTHELS STORIES: HERE)
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