Glob-a-log

When you think of Germany, you think of serious men and women, going about their business politely and efficiently. Okay, maybe not. ‘Hitler’ may still be the first thing you think of, closely followed by ‘Bratworst und bier’ and a tendency to win football tournaments in a boring (if efficient) manner.

I dare say though that most people, when asked to think of Germany, would not immediately think of its many, many brothels – and that’s something the German authorities and tourist industry should address, because Germany’s brothels deserve more of a mention. Did you know, for instance, that on the askmen.com site, Germany had four entries in the list of the world’s top ten brothels? It’s true though and you can read about it here. Anyway, brothels are big in Germany – and here are ten stories about some of these places.

10)

So, I already mentioned the famous German efficiency (or ‘Gründlichkeit.’) One of the symbols of this post world war two efficiency is Volkswagen, the German car company. It was once called Germany’s ‘Wirtschaftswunder’ (‘miracle of science‘, if you wish) so, it’s only fitting that the first of the brothel stories concerns this rather famous concern:

Europe’s biggest car company, and the leading symbol of corporate Germany, was embroiled in a widespread scandal involving sex, bribery and pleasure trips, the scale of which the Continent has not seen before. In a courtroom investigation in Braunschweig in Lower Saxony, details of the ¬2.5 million ($4.7 million) affair have been unfolding and the nation has been poring over the lurid details.

They involve a string of expensive hookers, sex parties and expense-account shopping trips which took place over the best part of a decade, endorsed by a management keen to buy the support of union officials and the shopfloor at a critical time for the company. Managers endorsed a company slush fund to pay for high-class prostitutes and to sponsor the mistresses of trade union officials, as well as regular visits to brothels, cash gifts for wives and even free supplies of Viagra.

9)

Germany is also justly renowned for its social services. The old, the infirm and the generally useless: All will be taken care of, if they are prepared and able to spend lots of time on the bureaucratic treadmill and fill in the proper mountain of übergründliches paperwork. If all these bureaucratic niceties have been observed though, a German citizen can be assured that he, or she, will be taken care of, from the cradle to the grave – and some very interesting, and unexpected, places in between, as the following story shows:

DRESDEN - Saying times are hard enough without men having to give up sex, a brothel madam in economically hard-hit eastern Germany is offering a 20-percent discount to the unemployed. To qualify for the discount - which applies to snacks and beverages as well as services rendered - the patrons of the Villa Bijou club in Dresden must produce unemployment registration papers showing they have been out of work for at least two years. “Unemployment is nearly 20 percent in the Dresden area,” club owner Silvia Rau told a local newspaper. “It’s demoralising to go job-hunting all day with no hope of relief. Men need relief from their cares, and I’m here to help see that they get it, even when they are hard-up for cash. Especially, when they are hard-up.”

8)

It’s not just the men who profit from the largesse of Germany’s brothels – and I’m not talking about hookers’ trade unions, overtime and what have you. No, sometimes, non-working girls and women also get something out of the industry, as the following story proves:

BERLIN, — Starting next week, a German women’s soccer team will take to the field sporting jerseys recommending their fans visit a local brothel. “X-Carree: Always Worth a Visit,” will be emblazoned across the women’s chests after the brothel, owned by a real estate firm in the eastern city of Halle, agreed to pay for the Teutschenthal women’s new gray and red uniforms. “The women have no problem with it,” Andreas Dittmann, coach of the 23-member amateur team, said Friday.

(Nakedness is next to Godliness…?)

7)

Did I mention, by the way, that Germans tend to be a God-fearing bunch – or, if maybe not exactly God-fearing, there’s something in the German psyche that enjoys the idea of a ‘Herr Gott’ Who watches over His creation in a highly organized manner. So, in an idealized German Heaven God would drive a Mercedes and the angels would not wear halos but clipboards (or Blackberries, in the case of Yuppie angels.) Anyway, Germans are quite fond of churches, so, of course, it was only a matter of time before one German citizen decided this whole separation of church and brothel business wasn’t very efficient:

A German brothel owner is planning to build his own multi-denominational church. Bert Wollersheim, 54, who has over 50 prostitutes working for him, plans to preach from the pulpit himself. Wollersheim, one of Germany’s best known pimps, wants to speak out against fanaticism. He said: “I want it to be a place for Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and every other religion. That is my biggest dream.”

6)

I know I did already mention the fact that the Germans are quite good at winning football tournaments – to the exasperation of their fellow Europeans. I’m from Holland and in our country there are many people who no longer carry any grudges against Germany for occupying our country during the second world war – but who will NEVER, EVER forgive the Germans for beating us in the final of the 1974 world football championship. Anyway, here’s a story from the 2006 World Cup that was held in Germany, featuring brothels, of course:

BERLIN, June 30 — On the night before Germany was to play Argentina in the quarterfinals of the World Cup, the prostitutes who work at the Artemis Sauna Club here were putting on their game faces. Hamburg’s red-light district had expected a surge of customers, but for brothels there and elsewhere, the increase was smaller than expected. With tens of thousands of soccer fans piling into Berlin for the game on Friday, this was going to be one of the women’s last big chances during the tournament. The mood in the club, however, was as subdued as the lighting. “The last time Germany played, not that many men came here,” said Luna, 33, a Serbian woman who came here from Bavaria to work during the four weeks of the tournament. “Maybe they went out to a pub and drank instead.”

To the list of pernicious things that have not happened at this World Cup, add one more: a spike in the sex trade. While clubs like Artemis have been busier than usual after games, the tournament has generated nowhere near the surge in demand for prostitution — or the influx of temporary prostitutes from Eastern Europe and Asia — that many experts predicted.

(Artemis brothel)

(GERMAN BROTHELS PART TWO: HERE )

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This entry was posted on Thursday, October 2nd, 2008 at 22:16 and is filed under Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.