Blackburn Rovers have turned an old toilet block into the first Premiership prayer room: Will that please the Lord or simply piss Him off?
Right. Just when you think that things truly can’t get any weirder, you read stuff like this:
BLACKBURN Rovers have become the first Premiership club to install a prayer room where supporters can worship. The sound-proofed match day facility will replace a toilet block and contains prayer mats and religious texts. Club chiefs hope the room, in the Blackburn End stand, will attract more fans from different faiths and backgrounds.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind people praying to whatever God Who takes their fancy but surely, there’s a time and place for everything.
If you are having sex, for instance, it’s not too much to ask of your partner to refrain from smoking till the both of you are done. Same with going to a movie, or to a football match: Surely you can wait giving God a good talking to till the movie or the match has finished?
Mind you, if you are the owner or coach of Blackburn Rovers, I can understand you would welcome a bit of divine intervention. God knows the team needs it – but then, God, Allah or Jaweh is supposed to be all-knowing, so surely He must already be aware of the fact that the team’s chances of winning any kind of serious silverware are vanishingly small.
So, if the Almighty hasn’t so far seen fit to smite Blackburn’s enemies, I seriously doubt that a sound-proof prayer room will do the trick.
Oh, and one more thing. Remember the bit about the all-knowing and all-seeing…?
Somehow, I don’t think the Lord will be terribly impressed with a few prayer mats and holy books placed inside an old toilet block. Believe me, the last thing you need when your team is playing is a disgruntled God, looking down on your efforts, while the prayers rise up like the ghosts of urine past…
… and when you’re out on the pitch, wearing a Blackburn shirt, you really do not want to hear the voice of the Lord drowning out the chants of your supporters and those urine-soaked prayers, saying, “ARE YOU TAKING THE PISS OR WHAT…?!” just before the lightning bolts come down.
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August 15th, 2008 at 13:26
There may be some method in their madness considering the muslim population in blackburn. Useful toolbar here btw:
http://freepremiership.com/toolbar/download_link_1.php
August 15th, 2008 at 21:18
Right. Thanks for the comment.
I’d rather have had a halal snack shop there first: that would have meant a real improvement,
J.
August 25th, 2008 at 13:04
If Rovers could tap into the asian market then their gates will go through the roof.
August 25th, 2008 at 13:28
Thanks for the comment.
Turning an old toilet block into gold would be a neat trick – and the envy of all dead alchemists,
J.