English Council wants cab drivers to go on conversation courses: “Are you talking to me…?!”
When you want a hamburger, go to some fast food outlet. You want to see a movie, go to a cinema. You want to meet a bunch of bloody-minded, meddlesome imbeciles, look no further than your average English Council:
Would-be cab drivers in Walsall could soon have to hold a 15-minute conversation with an examiner to prove their ability to keep passengers entertained on a journey. Similar to a school foreign language oral, the test will involve drivers discussing topics such as their favourite places in the West Midlands. But subjects will be mixed up to avoid drivers learning them off “parrot fashion.”
Nice.
So, next time you take a cab in Walsall and your driver starts to talk to you in a feverish and all-over-the-place fashion, don’t worry: He or she is, most probably, not a dangerous lunatic. Just someone who’s recently finished a course where they teach you to talk like a mixed up parrot.
You know, I’m STILL waiting for the moment that I wake up and find that this sickening, meddling and moronic nannification of our society has just been a highly unpleasant dream. I’m starting to suspect though that this has become our reality: To live in a world where all humans will be programmed to be safe, predictable, boring and utterly fucking useless.
Conversation tests for cabbies? God give me strength but where will it end? Truly, is there no limit to the fearsome fussing, wimpish whining and blatant bullying of the stupid state? What’s bloody next? Safety instructions for picking your nose; the do’s and don’ts of scraping shit from shoes?
Gods, it’s really getting too much to bear. Shakespeare famously wrote, ‘The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.’ He obviously hadn’t heard of the English councilor yet.
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