Salman Rushdie gets into another pissing contest, this time with a fellow writer: No fatwas called for, so far…
Now, here’s a strange little story for you. Wholly inconsequential, and guaranteed to be utterly forgettable but rather fun at the same time:
Wine writer Malcolm Gluck set the ball rolling recently by claiming a record of sorts for having signed 1,001 copies of his book, set at a wine warehouse in London in 1998. Gluck achieved this with the help of a team of three men, one fetching the copies, one opening them at the blank page, and another whisking the signed copies away. Rushdie lost no time countering. He said he had signed 1,000 copies, on his most recent tour promoting the Enchantress of Florence, in a books warehouse in Nashville in the USA in 57 minutes. The wine specialist then launched the controversy, questioning whether Rushdie could possibly have signed as many books as he had claimed, or whether he had just scribbled his initials.
Then, Rushdie got all offended, like some Ayatollah coming upon the Satanic Verses for the very first time – and not at all amused when he finds out that some rude little author chappie has given the names of the Prophet’s wives to a group of whores who work in one, rather seedy brothel.
So, his answer to the wine writer was a rather lengthy and pompous version of the old, ‘I did so too, so there!’
He did stop short of calling a fatwa on the offending author though.
Anyway, mister Gluck was suitably impressed – and repentant, sort of…:
“Well, if that’s true, I’m humbled,” Gluck said yesterday. “I’m delighted to learn of Salman’s achievement. I think it’s very funny actually, it’s like men boasting about the size of their sexual equipment, it’s got nothing to do with any other aspect of their personality. I doubt there will be any women going for this record, this is just such a male thing.”
Yup, little boys arguing about the size of their willies and ending up having a pissing contest against some poor, inoffensive wall.
Mind you, that’s still a Hell of a lot more grown-up than the reaction of your average, offended Ayatollah, of course.
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