British government considers banning happy hour: New labour has become a plague of cartoon wives, beating us over the head with their rolling pins forever
You know how, traditionally, it was the nagging of wives which chased unfortunate husbands out of the house and into the damp and smelly but welcoming embrace of the pub-around-the-corner.
These days, it’s our nagging and meddlesome government that does this oldest of cartoon trick fodder for us – and like so many of those comic book wives the authorities resent us for trying to escape their whining and nagging and for finding much needed solace in the arms of the old pink elephant support group.
Those wives were armed with their rolling pins; the government tries to destroy these sweet if sweaty havens with their reviews, done by querulous, quacking quangos:
Happy hours in pubs and clubs could be banned in an attempt to promote responsible drinking, a government spokesperson has said. The government is expected to publish the results of an independent review into the link between price promotion and alcohol abuse in the next few weeks. Prof Ian Gilmore, president of the Royal College of Physicians and chairman of the Alcohol Heath Alliance, said: “Too many bars and clubs continue to put profit before their customers’ health.”
Really?
How shocking – and there I was thinking all bars were run by volunteers who were just there to spread happiness (and interesting new shapes & colours of livers.)
Me, I think I would prefer to die, happily drunk, in the midst of a spectacular and bloody firework of exploding livers during some future happy hour, rather than do it responsibly in a ‘home’, at a ripe and incredibly boring age, suffering through those last eternal and infernal moments of a death of a thousand cutting government health & safety whispers.
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