Just another hypocritical ‘Stone the woman’ story: Ron Wood (61) elopes with a Russian escort bar waitress (18) So, she is an Evil Whore and he is the victim
Okay, it’s a funny story but what’s wrong with this picture?
Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood was snared by the Russian teenager he is living with when she chatted him up — while working as a cocktail waitress at a seedy escort bar. Scantily-clad Ekaterina Ivanova, 18, made a beeline for the 61-year-old rock veteran — married for 23 years — when he was out on a bender.
So far, so good: Stupid granddad gets a bit of a well overdue midlife crisis and doesn’t go for the Ferrari option – but that’s not what I mean. Onwards and downwards with this story:
Yesterday shamefaced Ronnie — who has whisked the Muscovite away to his bolthole in Ireland — phoned close pals after The Sun exclusively revealed how devoted wife Jo was frantic with worry about his latest boozy escapade. One of them said: “It gave him a slap round the face and hopefully shocked him back on to the wagon. He called and said he was coming back on Monday and will check into rehab. Let’s just hope he does.”
Ah yes, doing things the celeb way: Whenever you’ve done something criminally stupid – or just something criminal, check into rehab. A bit like kids hiding their heads under the blankets to protect themselves from midnight spooks. Alas, while the blanket method works perfectly well, the rehab way does not, since the monsters our rehabs face are real. They stare back at them out of the mirror and whisper to them from the shallow depths of their pathetic souls – but that’s still not what’s wrong with the picture I mentioned at the start. So, more of the Ronnie & Kat’a saga:
A source close to wife Jo, 53, said: “The family are horrified and they fear this girl is no normal teenager. She approached Ronnie in this club — he’s 61, for heaven’s sake — and he was vulnerable.”
Ah yes, now we’re finally getting somewhere: She is not a ‘normal’ teenager, whatever such a weird beast may be, but Evil Incarnate – and he is a vulnerable mega star millionaire. Of course. Give us more of this girl-preying-on-older-man stuff:
Dad-of-four Ronnie, whose long marriage has been among the most envied in rock and roll, met the precocious teenager — whom he affectionately calls “Eka” — at the dingy Capricorn Club. Punters at the private members joint are charged £10 entry and face paying £15 for a cocktail. The bar — tucked away on Goodge Street in London’s West End — hires about 150 mostly Eastern European girls. Up to 20 work at any one time — always half naked. Customers pay £30 for a private lap dance. A Sun undercover reporter found many girls offered full sex in the back of the club.
More proof that this 18-year-old Russian truly is the Spawn of Satan, no? Well, only if you think that being born poor and wanting to earn a bit of money elsewhere by trading on your looks makes you into some Bin Ladette type, sex bomber terrorist. Not that this kind of career choice makes her Mother Theresa material but maybe also not the spitting image of the Devil’s Daughter.
Back to my original question: What’s wrong with this picture? Well, that must be obvious by now. Old drunken letch goes to a stripper joint, where young East-European girls are being exploited and picks up one of those girls. What happens next?
Well, the tabloids call her a whore and friends and family of the depraved old bastard come to his aid, turning a kiddie hawk into a happy family man who was ‘vulnerable.’ Vulnerable enough to know his way to these types of bars, and so vulnerable that he didn’t end up just looking at some girl and/or screwing her at the back of the bar but flew her over to his Irish cottage for the whole, excuséz le mot, fucking weekend.
Ah well, I’m certain that Ronnie will make sure that photographers will be there when he enters rehab. We can only hope that he will remember to offer the girl a lift back to London before he does – and I do hope she will make a lot of money selling her ‘dirty weekend’ story to the same tabloids who now condemn her as a whore. (I hope she took lots of pictures too…)
I’m also sure that Ronnie’s friends will give him all the support he needs and that his family will forgive him for his trespasses. Cause it is a real pity but it would be probably too much to expect that his wife would greet him with the words of an old Rolling Stones song:
“I know you think you’re the king of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the U.S. Mail
Say it with dead flowers in my wedding
And I won’t forget to put roses on your grave”
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