Canadians will escape most global warming problems: With the USA as neighbours, that means they are SO fucked…!
Now, until I read the following article I hadn’t even heard of the Comoros Islands. For those as ignorant as me: They lie off the West coast of Africa and, according to some new report, they are even worse equipped to deal with global warming than Bangladesh.
If you don’t know Bangladesh: to say a country has more to fear from the temper tantrums of mother nature is the equivalent of saying that someone has even less chance to win the Nobel peace prize than the love child of Robert Mugabe and Cruella de Vil.
So, it’s safe to say that, if even half of what most people say about global warming is true, the Comoros Islands are well and truly fucked.
Which, to be honest, will, amidst all that global warming, still be very cold comfort to be benighted people of Canada, if you can believe another finding by that aforementioned report:
Canada is the best country to move to if you want to escape the dangers of climate change. A new study of nations’ vulnerability to the impacts of global warming found Canada was the most secure, while the Comoros Islands, off the coast of Africa, are least equipped to deal with future dangers.
What, you think that is good news for Canada?
How refreshingly naïve… You do know who Canada’s neighbours are, don’t you? – and no, I’m not talking about a few forlorn polar bears that are desperately trying to hang on to the last few melting ice cubes floating around, as if they were the last straws in a sea of cocktail party despair, without even the benefit of bad disco, little fluorescent umbrellas and Maraschino cherries.
No, I’m talking about the US of A, of course – and talking of cocktails, or wodka, anyway, remember the outrage when Absolut wodka did that ad about Texas being a part of Mexico? In their ‘In an Absolut world’ campaign, they had these maps on huge billboards that showed a world in which the American-Mexican war had not happened.
What did happen then was that the USA quite liked the look of what’s now the state of Texas and simply annexed it. This, of course, is not unique in the history of countries. Countries are like schoolyard kids – and when a big bully sees that a smaller kid has something that he likes, the former will simply take it away from the latter.
Anyway, if that report on global warming is right then Canada has just won one of the most dubious sweepstakes possible: to live on the most desirable bit of real estate, next to a country that’s still one of the mightiest and greediest on earth.
Many Canadians who will be reading this report and who know their history, will now nervously look at each other – and over their shoulders, to the South, and softly murmur:
“Oh, say! can you see…?”
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