A security van makes a 120 mile journey to take a prisoner across the street : Forcing him to walk the 200 yards from jail to court in cuffs would have breached his human rights
Some things are too funny (and insane) for words:
A SECURITY van was sent on a 120-mile round trip to take a prisoner 200 yards. Mark Bailey, 35, had been taken from jail to a crown court, but needed to appear before magistrates across the road. Police said they could not frogmarch him handcuffed in public because it would breach his human rights — and there were no prison vans available. So private firm Global Solutions had to send a van to Northampton from its base in Cambridge. His committal hearing eventually began four and a half hours late. Bailey, accused of stealing cable from a railway line, was remanded in custody and went back to jail.
It’s strange, isn’t it, how we hear ever more of these tales of indiscriminate stupidity?
Well, no, it isn’t, in fact. Humans and common sense have always had a rather tenuous relationship. The first of us who came down from that old, old tree probably didn’t plan to do this but simply fell out one day, muttering, ‘What the fuck happened there?’ after landing. Then, when he couldn’t find a way to climb back into the tree, he just wandered off, shaking his head, with another ‘What the fuck’ on his lips – and the rest, as they say, is history.
Still, it’s more than just our usual stupidity that brings us more and more of these moronic news stories. We have these highly developed brains and they have given us all kinds of interesting stuff: the wheel, language, fire, umbrellas, fast food, daytime TV and the atom bomb. The problem with having such a brain is that it hardly ever stays focused on the various jobs at hand. It wanders and wonders and is always dreaming up all kinds of wonky stuff. So, in order to protect us from our own brains, we need level-headed, strong societies in order to function in a sensible manner.
So, the moment our societies stop being sensible, we are truly fucked – and in the West we are now that: truly fucked. PC idiots to the left of us, xenophobic imbeciles to the right – leaving most of the rest of us, bewildered & confused, stuck right in the middle of all this shit: human slapstick fodder, only fit to be fed to the bureaucratic machine by an insane and ever-growing army of jobsworths.
Yeah, I know, I know, I’m exaggerating – but not by all that much. A society where stories like the one above are not only possible but becoming routine is a kind of Frankenstein’s monster with more than a few screws loose.
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