An American woman marries the Eiffel Tower: Did the earth move for you too, mon amour?
The news keeps us humble: Every time we’re tempted to think that nothing much can surprise us anymore, a story like the following comes and hits us where our pride lives:
A woman who has a bizarre fetish for inanimate objects has married the Eiffel Tower. Her first infatuation was with Lance, a bow that helped her to become a world-class archer, she is fond of the Berlin Wall and she claims to have a physical relationship with a piece of fence she keeps in her bedroom. But it is the Eiffel Tower she has pledged to love, honour and obey in an intimate ceremony attended by a handful of friends.
She blames her upbringing for her condition.
Well, of course: it wouldn’t be a modern, Western fairytale if one couldn’t blame one’s upbringing for whatever happened later in life.
It must be frustrating though, to be married to the Eiffel Tower. The French are obviously more relaxed about all matters sexual than the Americans – compare Madama Sarkozy with Laura Bush, for instance – but even they don’t approve of people going for the ultimate married bliss ‘en plein public’.
And I would guess it is damn hard to find a hotel – let alone a hotel room and forget about a bed… - where one could enjoy that first and passionate night with this upstanding bridegroom. Carrying the bride over any kind of threshold would be out too, it seems – though you could imagine (in an alternative to the King Kong movie) how the mighty Eiffel Tower would carry its bride, with one huge step, over the Grand Canyon.
Anyway, I do wish the couple a blissful and rust free life. One thing is for sure though: If Mrs La Tour Eiffel somehow manages to get her husband to perform for her, that old cliché about the earth moving won’t be a mere manner of speech.
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