The man who knew his tables – in the Biblical sense
Did you ever hear the expression, ‘Jesus on a sweaty old sock!’?
No? Well, that – and other verbal hiccups of blasphemous & honest surpise might come very handy when you read the following tale.
A story of love and furniture – a story of outdoor love and perhaps consenting furniture – a story of…
Well, read it for yourself; I feel another headache coming on:
BELLEVUE, OH — A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table.
The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.
The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.
Police say the DVDs show Price involved in a sex act in his bedroom. He walks out to his deck, tilts the table on its side and has sex with it.
Police say Price lives near an elementary school.
Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table when police questioned him.
He confirmed to police the incidents caught on the DVDs and said he had also had sex with the table inside the home.
Price faces four counts of public indecency. He is free on a $20,000 bond.
Oh, and that Jesus sock I mentioned: it’s for sale.
On eBay, of course…
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