Have you read about the smoking tortoise?
It’s a brilliant little story:
A TORTOISE that smokes and appears to be addicted to nicotine has been discovered in China’s northeastern province of Jilin. The animal is the pet of a man, identified by his surname Yun, who is himself a smoker, Xinhua news agency said today, quoting a local newspaper.One day, Mr Yun teased the tortoise by putting a cigarette butt into its mouth, and to his surprise it started to smoke it, according to the news agency. From then on, he shared his cigarettes with his pet, Xinhua said. “It seems to have become addicted,” Mr Yun was quoted as saying. “Whenever I smoke in front of it, it will stick its head out of the water and fidget about until I give it the stub.”Mr Yun proved his claim by putting a cigarette in the tortoise’s mouth in front the paper’s reporter and his neighbours, Xinhua quoted the newspaper as saying. To everyone’s surprise, the tortoise finished it in less than four minutes, the news agency said.
Me, like good old Baldrick, I’ve got a cunning plan. I’m gonna buy me a couple of hundred tortoises (just for starters, of course) and a big truckload of fags. I mean, you’ve got your smoked ham, smoked kippers, smoked eel and smoked cheese…
… so I’m starting a tortoise farm and I’m gonna get rich selling smoked – or smoking – tortoise.
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on Saturday, March 29th, 2008 at 06:51 and is filed under Columns.
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