Glob-a-log

It is probably a safe assumption that for every person with a Brooklyn Bridge to sell, there will be about a hundred takers.

It’s also undeniably true that sex sells.

If you combine those two eternal truths you get both enough crooks and crackpots to flesh out a thousand rack rackets like this:

We’ve never really wanted breast implants, so maybe this is old news to the pneumatically enhanced, but we were intrigued by a new ad the pharmaecutical company Allergan is running in this month’s Marie Claire. Apparently implants are sort of like couture! (Or, perhaps in an appeal to the many Benz-driving financiers of fake tittery, cars!) Behold the “Natrelle Breast Enchancement Collection.”

Apparently, much like women themselves — and as we have recently learned, much like those women’s vaginas — breast implants come in “a broad range of sizes, shapes and profiles.” Eager to learn more, we hurriedly went to the website advertised in the ad, hoping to find a list of options akin to one of those delis where every sandwich is named after a famous athlete, like the Linda Carter circa ‘Wonder Woman’ special, or the Anne Hathaway in the Princess Diaries, or the lactating Salma, or the Statue of Liberty…

One born every minute?

Slightly more and more frequently than that, surely – and once all of them have bought their bridge and new sets of personality tits, we can try for another scheme.

So, any takers for these lovely unassembled snowmen…?

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 5th, 2008 at 18:45 and is filed under Columns, Satire, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.