Glob-a-log

Some things are so depressing they become almost hysterically funny.

You remember this quote from last year, I trust. It’s probably as indelibly fixed in the collective mind as ‘Read my lips, no more taxes’ and ‘I didn’t inhale’ (or ‘I did not have sex with that woman’.)

Anyway, this is what Pamela Anderson said last year on a TV Talkshow:

“I paid off a poker debt with sexual favors and I fell in love. It’s so romantic.”

Which came after the following parental guidance message she wrote on her blog before ’sleeping off’ her gambling debts:

“I’m not really engaged. I don’t know what I am,” she sidestepped. “We may never get that far. We’re in love. This is nice. I’ve tried to remarry — move on — like any other single mom I’ve tried to create a healthy example for my kids always,” she wrote on her Web site in March.

Yup, she’s a healthy, old so-and-so alright.

Anyway, I’m bringing all of this up because of the following bit of news:

Pam Anderson sure knows how to pick ‘em. She married heavy metal douchebag Tommy Lee twice, then wed scrubby rap/rock star Kid Rock. That marriage clocked in at just three months and ended amid claims from Kid that Pam faked a miscarriage to get him to cancel his tour. Not long after the ink on that divorce dried, Pam married Rick Salomon, after claiming that she paid off a poker debt to him in sexual favors. That marriage lasted even less time than her marriage to kid. Now, the aging Playmate has decided that her marriage to Rick was such a mistake, a plain old divorce isn’t enough– she wants an annulment. Pam stipulates that both parties are not entitled to any property, assets or spousal support, and that the grounds of the annulment are based on fraud.

So, why fraud? Did she, after all, did not perform after Salomon paid for her services – or was her performance substandard, perhaps? Or did she give it all her hooker’s heart’s worth, just to hear that the Johnny then went for the second-oldest trick in the book by refusing to pay afterwards?

Ah, to have been a fly on that brothel’s wall…

By the way, I do admit that a far better question would have been, quite obviously, ‘Why bring the whole sorry mess up at all?’

Well, apart from the obvious, voyeuristic reasons this whole annulment thing got me thinking about something else. I hadn’t known that fraud was a good enough reason for an annulment. Now I know that it is, I’m wondering if this might not apply to the world of politics as well.

We can’t use the more traditional  ‘not consummated’ argument with the guy, because he truly fucked us over (and over and over…) for the last eight years but surely we can get him on fraud…

From announcing, right at the start, that  he was going to unite the country, through the weapons of mass destruction mess, to the ‘Heck of a job, Brownie’ brouhaha and the torture thing…

I’d say there’s material enough there to go for more than a few fraud claims.

Pelosi and the other (fraudulent) failures in Washington keep telling us that we can’t impeach the little born-again bastard. Fine – but can we then at least do what Pam did and go for an annulment?

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe today to get free updates by email or RSS.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 27th, 2008 at 22:15 and is filed under Arts & Ents, Columns, Politics, Satire, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.