No Sex Please, We’re Children (The war against the grunts)
Okay, so it’s war – and about time too!
For it is one thing if grown-ups want to spend their precious God- or Darwin-given time on earth watching YouPorn clips or Paris Hilton/Britney Spears/God-knows-who sex tapes all day long…
… but is quite another to try and get kids to join them in the fun as well.
So, we’ve had British Home Stores trying to sell a range of sexy ‘Little Miss Naughty’ underwear to children from the age of seven onwards…
… and, of course, then there was Woolworths who were selling a bed, intended for girls aged about six, under the name ‘Lolita.’
So yes, there is good cause to wage war against those who want to sexualize children – either for filthy lucre or even filthier private reasons.
Having said that, as with any war – however just – it is always wise to pick the right battles…
… and some, I have to say, are less wise than others.
Which, in all honesty, is just a very polite way of saying what really went through my mind when I read the following article – which was:
“What the fuck do you think you are playing at, you lousy pieces of shit-for-brains…?!”
A GIRL has been banned from playing tennis by her local club because she grunts too loudly. Lauryn Edwards, 9, was told at the weekend that she could no longer play her beloved sport after a complaint from an opposition player a fortnight ago. The club informed Lauryn’s stunned parents Duncan and Ruth the grunting had become too much.
Mr Edwards described the ban as pathetic and has contacted Tennis Australia for advice. He said his daughter’s grunting had been exaggerated.
“It’s pretty slight and now and again she hits hard and makes a loud noise and that’s it,” he said. From just one comment this has all blown up stupidly. There’s no rule against it - so they’ve made a rule against it.”
He said the Mount Carmel Tennis Club, 30km north of Melbourne, had asked him for an assurance Lauryn would remain silent on the court.
“They told me to guarantee she won’t grunt or she can’t play,” Mr Edwards said, “How can I guarantee that? She’s been doing it since she was really little. She’s her own person. What do they want me to do? Put Band-Aids over her mouth? They made her cry on the court when they told her. She was in such a state I had to bring her home mid-match.”
Lauryn, who is heartbroken by the ban, has attention deficit disorder. She has been playing tennis since the age of four after it was recommended by her school psychologist to burn energy and keep her focused.
Dubbed “Lauryn Sharapova” by a former coach, she nominates the Russian champion as her favourite tennis player.
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February 27th, 2008 at 03:48
The war against the grunts…
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