Nothing is too good for our boys and girls in uniform: toupees for him and boob jobs for her – and hot, sexy high heels for all serving bitches of course.
It is often said that a policeman’s lot is not a happy one. This can also be true for the non-human part of any police force. In Germany people are well aware of this, so there the human coppers are quite protective of their canine colleagues:
Police dogs in Düsseldorf, Germany, will soon be kitted out with blue plastic-fibre shoes when they go on patrol. Andre Hartwich, a police spokesman, said: “All 20 of our police dogs are being trained to walk in these shoes. I’m not sure they like it, but they’ll have to get used to it.”
The unusual footwear is a necessity due to the high rate of paw injuries on duty. The dogs often step on broken beer bottles, especially in the old town, which is famous for its pubs, Mr Hartwich said. The shoes come in sizes small, medium and large and were ordered in blue to match the officers’ uniforms.
Right, now let’s leave these doggies and their blue suede shoes for a while and move to another part of the world - and to another hard luck story. For it’s not just the police (and their dogs) who are suffering. Weiring the uniform can be quite hard on soldiers too - as the case of mister Kwon, of South Korea, shows. He proved to be quite allergic to his kit:
A court in Suwon, 50 kilometres (31 miles) south of Seoul, recently ruled in favour of a petition by the army reserve, known as Mr. Kwon, to get a “person-of-national-merit” status, Yonhap News Agency said.
People of national merit are entitled to a monthly state subsidy for livelihood and various other social benefits in South Korea. Kwon joined the army in December 2002 and his hair began falling out in July 2004. He blamed his training for the alopecia, which has worsened, and demanded compensation from the government, Yonhap said.
He was discharged from the service in January 2005. The authorities decided not to award him merit, citing no precedence and relevance, but Kwon filed a lawsuit against the decision, which he won.
Well, that’s great news for mister Kwon, of course. Mind you, he’s not exactly the first person to get money from the army because he felt the lack of a certain something. You might remember the following story. It was widely reported at the time, anyway.
Which is hardly surprising. It was a great story – and even more importantly: as photo opportunities go, this one was a Hell of a lot more exciting than any male hair loss story could ever hope to be:
THE Royal Australian Navy is paying for women sailors to have breast enlargements for purely cosmetic reasons, at a cost to taxpayers of $10,000 an operation.
Defence officials claim the surgery is justified because some servicewomen need bigger breasts to address “psychological issues”.
Right, so we have a South Korean ex-soldier who’s getting money as compensation for his hair loss and all those lovely Australian sailors who turned their government into the kind of sugar daddy who pays for his mistresses’ boob jobs. Yes, it’s a wonderful world, isn’t it?
Okay, time to return to Germany and to those poor police dogs. We heard how the police spokesman there was not entirely sure if the dogs would like their new shoes. Well, I’m not suggesting for a moment that all of Germany’s police dogs are spoilt little bitches who are forever complaining about any present their male carers buy them.
Still, we’ve seen how others who wear the uniform feel they are entitled to new hair and new breasts and God knows what else, so it could be that these German police dogs might also think they deserve a bit more than just one set of boring old work shoes.
Me, I wouldn’t be surprised if these dogs would demand at least one extra set of Italian shoes. Red shoes, I’d think – with those sexy-looking high heels, for the following and quite obvious reasons:
In the past stilettos have been blamed for stress fractures and joint pain but now it seems that the pain might be worth the gain. Italian urologist Dr Maria Cerruto discovered that a pair of “moderately high-heeled shoes” had beneficial effects. Wearing them could in fact work wonders for a woman’s sex life, research suggests.
The study involved 66 women under the age of 50. Dr Cerruto discovered that women who held their feet at a 15-degree angle to the ground, the equivalent of a two-inch heel, showed up to 15 per cent less electrical activity in their pelvic muscles. This suggests the muscles are more relaxed with higher heels, increasing their strength and ability to contract.
So, high-heeled shoes not only tone the legs and strengthen the pelvic muscles, but they “directly work the pleasure muscles which are linked to an orgasm”, it is claimed.
Which is worth knowing even if you don’t have a dog to buy shoes for, I guess…
If you enjoyed this post, subscribe today to get free updates by email or RSS.
