Who you gonna call? Well, strangely enough not Bush or Blair but a Mr. Andrew Burnip
Okay, bear with me for a moment.
I was reading an article about a poltergeist, an exorcism by a psychic and Easington Council – more about them later – and that set me thinking about the war in Iraq.
Here are some statistics, thanks to ask.yahoo.com:
While an exact figure is impossible to determine, estimates thus far range from $80 billion to over $100 billion.
The U.S. military spends roughly a billion dollars a week on the Iraq occupation. (In contrast, Afghanistan occupation costs about a billion dollars a month.) Of course, these figures fluctuate. A February 17, 2004, AP story states that, in 2003, the war cost $4 billion in September, $7 billion in October, and $3 billion in November.
But these are military costs, and do not include reconstruction efforts. According to USA Today, rebuilding Iraq could cost an estimated $180 billion to $245 billion for the next five years.
That’s a lot of money, to be sure – and then we haven’t even begun to speak about the cost in human lives: ‘theirs’ & ‘ours’.
Anyway, back to that other story I mentioned, about the exorcism etcetera. Here it is:
A psychic was paid £60 by a council to rid a County Durham home of a “poltergeist” after ghostly goings-on. Easington Council employed medium Suzanne Hadwin after Peterlee tenant Sabrina Fallon reported paranormal activity including moving objects.
Miss Fallon had even called police after hearing bangs which terrified her children Shannon, nine, and Amie, one.
A council spokesman said it paid half the psychic’s fee as it was the most cost-effective solution. Andrew Burnip, the council’s homelessness and housing advice manager, said the family had been left “traumatised” by the strange goings on and wanted to leave the house. The council considered rehousing the family in temporary accommodation but this would have cost up to £40 per night.
Mr Burnip said: “This family was absolutely distraught and believed what was happening - that is not to say that the council believed. What we saw was a relatively small amount to pay for an outcome which in effect saved the taxpayer many hundreds, if not thousands of pounds.”
I readily admit that I had first planned to write yet another story about inane local councils but I couldn’t find an angle – and the more I thought about it, the more I came to admire the eminent practicality of the whole deal.
It’s as our Mr. Burnip not quite said, “Who cares if the whole story is crazy: solving the problem by paying someone £60 to chase away a non-existent ghost is pretty brilliant, thank you very much.”
Which inevitably brings us back to Iraq – and the cost of that war.
Yes, if only Mr Burnip had been asked to deal with that one, instead of messires Bush and Blair. As he already proved with that non-existent ghost, I’m sure he would have found a much cheaper and much saner method to deal with Saddam’s non-existent weapons of mass destruction as well.
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