One stupid cow, two unlucky cows and a herd of hyperactive pigs
First, a very ugly story:
A drunk-driver who killed a cyclist has been sentenced to ten years in prison in the US, after the judge heard a recorded jail conversation in which she laughed about “taking out a tree hugger, a bicyclist, a Frenchman and a gay guy all in one shot.”
Melissa Arrington, 27, a barmaid and exotic dancer from Tucson, Arizona, could have received as few as four years behind bars after she killed cyclist Paul L’Ecuyer while driving under the influence on the night of December 1, 2006.
Instead, she was sentenced to 10 years - one year shy of the maximum prison term for negligent homicide - after the judge heard a telephone conversation between her and a male friend one week after L’Ecuyer was killed.
I have nothing against barmaids, exotic dancers or even Tucson, Arizona but it would be nice if Miss Arrington would rot in jail until such time that she could prove conclusively to the rest of us that she actually is a card-carrying member of the human race and not some kind of psychotic Barbie.
However, isn’t it remarkable how humans can misuse everything they come upon or invent?
For instance, one clever cave guy or gal finds two rock, beats them together and hey presto: first sparks, then fire, then steak. Then, he shows this new trick to the rest of the clan and yes, they are mightily impressed. Like, wow, you can really hit something hard with them stones. So, then the men start to beat each other over the head with those rocks (in between stoning some of their women to death, of course.)
Same with cars, as we saw with that mental moron, Melissa Arrington. Still, driving under the influence isn’t the only illegal bit of fun you can have with a car. As a couple of Malaysian thieves showed:
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Thieves in Malaysia stole an adult cow, They managed to push the cow into the back of a mid-sized sedan Tuesday night, but were spotted by villagers who gave chase, said a local police official in the northern state of Kedah.
The driver lost control during the chase and drove into a tree, after which they abandoned the animal. The cow, injured in the crash, was slaughtered by villagers.
Which is rather sad, of course.
Mind you, this was just one cow and a couple of thieves – and a mid-sized Sedan. In KwaZulu-Natal, there was only one thief, a bloody Fiat Uno - and quite a bit more than just the one cow…:
Police spokesperson Captain Jabulani Mdletshe said two off-duty policemen were informed by residents of the Phelindaba area near Emanguzi in northern KwaZulu-Natal that they had seen a man loading a cow into the small vehicle.
By the time the two officers arrived, the driver had loaded his vehicle and attempted to speed away. Realising that he was not losing the police, he stopped his car and fled into the bushes.
The police officers discovered that the Fiat Uno had not one unwilling passenger, but four - two cows and two goats.
Which shows that you can definitely have too much of a good thing.
Speaking of which…
I can’t help but feel that the Japanese police were overdoing things just a little bit when they were chasing one wanted man who tried to get away from them by car:
OSAKA — Police on Thursday arrested a wanted man, Hirofumi Fukuda, 27, who had been wanted for assaulting police officers on Jan 21, after a two-hour car chase through central Osaka.
Around 11 a.m., police received an emergency call saying that a car was driving recklessly, ignoring traffic lights. When a patrol car approached the vehicle in question, it took off.
Police were mobilized throughout the area and a helicopter called in. The chase ended when Fukuda’s car crashed into a bridge column. He sustained light injuries but no one else was injured in the chase.
The chase involved 2,240 officers, 460 police cars and one helicopter.
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January 25th, 2008 at 16:26
That guy should get a medal for being able to fit two cows and two goats, plus himself, in to an Uno. I’m amazed it still moved…
January 25th, 2008 at 16:30
Yah.
Would make a great family car type commercial for the Uno though, if they could get the guy to do it again in front of the camera.
J.