Love, fear & loathing
So many clichés, so little time.
Or, if you want, ‘The family that preys together, stays together:‘
Two Australians have been jailed for a failed heist which left one of them with a bag of bread rolls and the other with a bullet in the backside.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced to seven and eight years respectively for the robbery in a Melbourne restaurant.
During the robbery, Jorgensen grabbed what he thought was a bag of money - only to find it contained bread rolls.
He also accidentally fired his gun, hitting Hayes in the buttock.
Which is kind of cute – him leaving love tokens like that. For yes, verily, man does not live by bread alone.
Still, love, in the immortal words of the Bard, can’t always be a whole lot of roses.
So, when love goes bad, like milk left out in the sun, or goat cheese running to Nietzsche, we find ourselves in the old Hunter S. Thompson paradigm, ‘When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro:’
A JILTED boyfriend wreaked revenge on his former lover by showing his mates a secret film of her performing oral sex on a dog.
Kenneth Morris, 54, was left furious when his former girlfriend ditched him for someone else - and left him footing the rent bill. When he found a DVD of her performing oral sex on a dog in an obscene homemade film, he decided to get his own back. Morris copied the DVD then gave it to one unsuspecting friend saying: “Watch this - it’s gross.”
The shocked pal was so disgusted by what he saw he immediately alerted the RSPCA and police.
When officers searched his house they found DVDs of Morris having sex with many different women and he was arrested. At Minshull Street Crown Court, Morris of Eccles in Salford, Greater Manchester, admitted distributing obscene material. He leant on a crutch and nodded his head in the dock as he was sentenced to a 12 month supervision order.
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