Bang, bang! I shot you down.
I just read an article that made me shout at my poor laptop in rage and disbelief - and since I believe it’s only right and proper to spread misery around I’ll share this article and some of my (more publishable) reactions to it with you:
Boys in nursery schools should not be discouraged from playing with toy guns and other weapons, the government says. In guidance for nurseries in England, the Department for Children, Schools and Families says staff should resist a “natural instinct” to stop such play.
A natural instinct…?! Political correct wankership does not equal ‘natural’ or ‘instinct’.
It says role playing helps create the right conditions for boys’ learning and could help them become more engaged in education in the future.
Which is probably the purest and rankest bullshit - but if the kids are having fun, let’s forget about rational analysis or even sanity for the once.
Teachers have condemned the advice, saying toy guns “symbolise aggression”.
Remember the time when teachers were actually a force for the good in societies? That sure seems like a loooong time ago…
But the National Union of Teachers (NUT) has criticised the government’s advice on toy guns.
Oh, but how I love that acronym…
General secretary Steve Sinnott said the problem with toy weapons was that they “symbolise aggression”.
“The trouble with weapons is that the toy gun is often accompanied by aggression. The reason why teachers often intervene when kids have toy guns is that the boy is usually being very aggressive.”
Right. Make up your tiny fucking mind. Either we are talking symbolism or real aggression. Boys beating other boys over the head with plastic guns aren’t into symbolism all that much. If, on the other hand, the boy just points the plastic phallus thingy at another kid while shouting ‘Bang, bang! I shot you down!’ he may be a noisy little pest but hardly an aggressive one.
Chris Keates, general secretary of the NASUWT teachers’ union, said any nursery following the government’s advice risked angering parents.
“Many parents take the decision that their children won’t have toy weapons,” she said. “In addition to that, I think this is a clear example of gender stereotyping. I do not think schools should be encouraging boys to play with toy weapons.”
Oh dear, oh bother, oh fuck…
Where to start…?
Yes, I’m sure there are parents who dislike toy weapons. There are also parents who will force their own particular brand of dieting, religion, children’s literature and, no doubt, politically correct wallpaper on their offspring.
As a society we’ve given parents enormous leeway to raise (and damage) their kids in pretty much any way they see fit. It’s as the poet Philip Larkin wrote,
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
This, however, does not mean that schools should cater to all the irrational wishes of parents.
Oh, and that bit about gender stereotyping…? I need to take a few deep breaths here to avoid saying something along the lines of ‘Oh, get a fucking life, you mindless little PC shit-for-brains!’
I know that the useless little pricks and prickettes of NUT would love all children to be born without any upsetting differences at all. Like unisexless little Barbie & Ken dolls - let’s call them ‘BarKens’.
Well, children are no BarKens - and there are gender differences. That’s why humans come in more than one gender, you gormless, clueless nitwits!
On with the show…:
But children’s minister Beverley Hughes said the advice took a “common-sense approach” to the fact that many young children favoured boisterous, physical activity.
You know, it truly is a sad day for humanity when a minister of the Crown has suddenly become the voice of reason..
Many boys liked pretending to be superheroes or playing at “Star Wars characters with their lightsabres”, she said. “Although noisy for adults such imaginary games are good for their development as well as good fun.”
Then, of course, she had to spoil things by throwing in the obligatory health & safety like, PC response,
But she added: “The guidance also impresses upon staff the need to teach children that they must respect one another and that harming another person in the real world is not acceptable.”
Yes, right. Of course it isn’t. Shall we then do away with our armies and weapon industries too? Or just ban certain video games - and toy guns, of course? And ban the news altogether?
Give me strength!
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