What the Dickens? Or: The Shakespearean downfall of Pooh Bear
God knows why but the BBC decided to make (and worse: to broadcast) yet another tedious version of Charles Dickens’ truly atrocious book ‘The Old Curiosity Shop.’
Brief summary, in T.O.C.S. a virtuous virgin called Little Nell dies because her gormless grandfather is bad at playing cards.
Oscar Wilde famously wrote about this heroine’s demise:
‘At the death of Little Nell, it would have taken a heart of stone not to laugh out loud.’
The only good thing to come out of this BBC remake was a piece written by The Times’ food (and occasional TV) critic AA Gill.
He wasn’t impressed with the play but he had at least something positive to say about actor Derek Jacobi, who played the grandfather.
Well, sort of positive…:
Derek Jacobi has pared down his dramatic repertoire simply to juggling his eyes and occasionally twinkling. They rather resemble the currant-like minces of a small rodent. His most successful and repeated thespian trick is to imitate the startled look of a homosexual mouse caught in flagrante by a marmalade cat with halitosis: a canny mixture of camp terror and disgust, which, frankly, I could watch for hours. I just wish they didn’t trouble him with all the talking and walking about.
Anyway, enough of Dickens already. Quite frankly, if it weren’t for ‘The Muppet’s Christmas Carol’, the festive season would be a lot more festive without this weird nostalgia for the more mawkish works of this excellent writer.
Still, you know how they say that, occasionally, life imitates art?
At times, it even outshines art. Forget about stupid grandfathers being the death of their equally stupid granddaughters.
Forget about Dickens altogether - even Shakespeare, who has form when it comes to playing happy murderous families, could not have come up with the following scenario:
A Spartanburg mother is accused of stabbing her son several times Christmas morning, but her son is the person facing charges.
City police say it appears the mother, 45-year-old Tammy Jones, stabbed her son because he urinated on her while she slept in her bed.
21-year-old Michael Anthony Carson, nicknamed Pooh Bear, is charged with aggravated assault and battery. Police arrested him at his mother’s home on Wednesday.
City police say Jones stabbed her son six times with a butcher knife. He suffered wounds to his shoulder, calf, and chest. Witnesses in the house heard Jones say “why did you pee on me Pooh Bear?” A few moments later, the witness heard the son say “Mama you done stabbed me.”
The city does not plan to charge the mother unless the solicitor’s office sees otherwise.
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