HO HO HO: The hard life or our celebs (Or: When in doubt, go without - clothes, that is.)
It is not always easy to be a celebrity. Take Santa Claus. Some days ago I reported on the fact that some health nazi types were forcing Santa to go to the gym and join boot camps in order to lose weight – and now he gets a mauling from the PC Pol Pot patrol…:
SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia’s largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas’s traditional “ho ho ho” greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday.
Sydney’s Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say “ha ha ha” instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.
One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use “ho ho ho” because it could frighten children and was too close to “ho”, a US slang term for prostitute.
“Gimme a break,” said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids. “We are talking about little kids who do not understand that “ho, ho, ho” has any other connotation and nor should they,” she told the Telegraph. “Leave Santa alone.”
So, time for some disgusting back-paddling from central office. Gods, but these corporations and their spokesclowns are so incredibly, gut and soul-wrenchingly disgusting…:
A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment firm said it was “misleading” to say the company had banned Santa’s traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of the individual Santa himself.
Anyway, it’s not just Santa having a hard time of it. Spare a thought for poor Marie Osmond:
LOS ANGELES — Marie Osmond said her 16-year-old son has entered a rehabilitation facility, but she didn’t disclose the nature of his problem.
“My son, Michael, is an amazing young man, shown through his courage in facing his issues. As his mother I couldn’t be more proud of him,” the 48-year-old singer said in a statement issued Wednesday through her publicist, Marleah Leslie.
“The press and public have always been kind and gracious in the past and I know they will continue to respect our privacy during this time,” Osmond said.
I’m not quite sure on what planet old Marie has been hiding these last few decades but someone should tell her that the word ‘respect’ is now mostly – and most effectively - used by teenage gangs who will shoot you (or any bystander) when they feel you don’t show enough ‘respect’ in their soulless, brainless and utterly useless presence.
Still, I’m sure Marie will be able to find comfort in her faith – and comfort in her dancing. Her televised and tabloid-fueled dancing, that is.
For whenever one of her family members has to go into rehab – or plain simply dies, Marie’s God tells her, ‘Never mind, old thing, just put on your party frock and have a blast’:
LOS ANGELES — Marie Osmond says the Bible inspired her return to ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” following the death of her father last week. Osmond said on Monday’s live broadcast that she found comfort in the Bible when she randomly opened a passage from Ecclesiastes.
“It said … there’s a time to mourn and a time to dance,” she said. “And I felt like it was almost from my dad saying, `This is your time to dance.’”
She missed last week’s elimination show after her father, George Osmond, patriarch to the Osmond family’s singing group, The Osmond Brothers, died at his home in Provo, Utah. He was 90.
It is a pity that the TV show’s judges were all atheist commie bastards who wouldn’t know how to ‘respect’ a God-fearing orphan/mama even if she came crawling through the barrel of some crack-addled teen gangster’s gun:
The 48-year-old singer received Monday night’s lowest score: 49 out of 60 possible points from the judges.
Onwards and upwards though. Well, okay: ever deeper into the celeb sewer then…
Unless you’re a Rocky Balbao or a Bill Clinton, it is hard to make a come-back. So, when someone, or some group tries we really should applaud their courage and perseverance and not take cowardly and easy pot shots at them, like a pop singer I certainly had never heard of tried to do to her much elderly sisters:
It is a sexy new look that the Spice Girls desperately hope will show their younger pop rivals they can still compete in the glamour stakes. Posing for a raunchy photo shoot, they want to prove to the likes of Girls Aloud that they are not past it yet - despite being ten years older than them.
Each of the girls sports a spicy look but their skimpy outfits have caused confusion as the group’s new song is about friendship. Wearing little more than a bra and a bizarre skirt resembling a stack of lampshades, Geri Halliwell aka Ginger Spice boldly shows off her slim figure. And Mel B, better known as Scary Spice, is also refusing to grow old gracefully with her decolletage clearly on show in a revealing bra.
But the sexy new look has been criticised by pop singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor who feels it does not fit in with their comeback single ‘Headlines’.
“I don’t like the video. I don’t understand why they’re singing in their underwear when they’re talking about friendship,” said the singer.
Well, far be it from me, normally, to stand in the way of anyone who expresses their failure to grasp the deeply philosophical meaning behind cheap, mass-produced pop songs and their even cheaper, porn-stocked accompanying video-clips…
… but when I read about these concerns expressed by this Sophie Ellis-Bextor I did Google her, just to fully understand where this uptight, upright, moral mess of a miss was coming from – and I wasn’t in the least bit surprised to find this bit of news:
LONDON - Singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor has been signed as the face of high-street fashion chain Monsoon’s latest advertising campaign.
The pop singer is to appear in the “Create a storm” print campaign lying naked on silk and velvet Monsoon cushions on a sofa, and holding a wild orchid.
It must be a great comfort to Sophie Ellis-Bextor to know that if at pop music and modelling she won’t succeed, she could always go into politics. I’m sure there will always be a spot at the trough for a person with her lack of morals and her very distinct brand of galling hypocrisy.
Take it away, Santa, I would say: take all of them away, please.
No, not the new and politically correct version, you daft old bugger!
Yes, thank you: HO HO HO indeed…
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