New sex laws for her & him: Don’t you dare swallow that & don’t even think of hugging her!
You might think that Norwegian, politically correct liberals and conservative good old boys from Waco, Texas would make the most unlikely bedfellows – but you would be wrong.
Well, you’d be right about the ‘bedding’ part, of course, since both parties seem to frown on anything resembling harmless and (more or less healthy) fun.
The Norwegian spoil-sports first:
Norway’s largest erotic chain store was forced to change the labeling on products such as penis pasta, candy cuffs and chocolate body painting, to comply with Norwegian food regulations.
The Norwegian food safety authority, whose goal it is to make sure consumers have healthy and safe food, conducted a surprise inspection at one of the chain’s stores and found that several products violated food labeling regulations.
“We were a bit surprised to have the food safety authority on inspection. Food is not really our core product,” Kjersti Antonsen, a sexual adviser in the store, told VG.
Products containing food must be marked with a Norwegian label, listing all ingredients.
“We have panties, bras, handcuffs and suspender belts made out of candy,” Antonsen said, adding that the store will comply with the regulations and label all its food products.
It’s a bit of a stretch, maybe but one can almost imagine the Norwegian food safety authority running a desperate ad in the national papers, asking for extremely small sign painters.
For God forbid that any Norwegian citizen would swallow anything during oral sex which didn’t come with its own, individually hand-painted sign that warned that ‘This seed is not an official food product.’
Mind you, at least the Norwegian food safety authority doesn’t (as of yet) forbid sex altogether. They might frown upon the deplorably unregulated exchange of non-labeled, bodily fluids but so far they haven’t banned it.
In the USA they take their puritanical, punitive picking on pleasure a Hell of a lot more seriously than in poor, politically correct Norway, of course:
Two hugs equals two days of detention for 13-year-old Megan Coulter.
The eighth-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friends Friday.
“I was just giving them a hug goodbye for the weekend,” she said.
District Superintendent Sam McGowen said that he thinks the penalty is fair and that administrators in the school east of St. Louis were following policy in the student handbook.
It states: “Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”
Well, good for you, District Superintendent, sir! American High Schools have problems enough as it is, with all those crazy, Satan worshiping kids trying to give the God & country loving gun industry a bad name with their commie-loving killing sprees, without some sex-obsessed hippy girl-freak making things even worse with these vile and random acts of hugging.
Mind you, it gets even worse. It’s not only High Schools where degenerate kids would just love to fuck with the God-blessed American way of life and afterwards wipe their dirty & dripping whats-its clean with the sacred American flag.
No, the rot already starts at Middle School – and if it weren’t for some brave and God-fearing and patriotic teachers these obscene acts would quite probably have remained unnoticed, and even worse, unpunished:
A 10-year-old boy was suspended from school after asking his teacher for a hug and calling her “sexy.”
Aaron Perez received the suspension last week after hoping for just a hug from his Putnam Valley Middle School teacher. He had been reprimanded in September for the “sexy” remark and his parents say he meant nothing inappropriate and that “sexy” is a term of endearment used around the house and heard all over television.
“I got scared when I got suspended and the reason I asked my teacher for a hug was to hope she had a good weekend,” Aaron told CBS 2 News.
Perez’s teacher, however, disagreed and complained the boy was acting in an inappropriate manner.
Ah, praise be Putnam Valley Middle School and its dedicated staff of valiant teachers – and how we need their unflagging zeal, their unwavering judgement and their keen, sewer-trained sense of smell.
For verily, I tell thee: the poor US of A is a desperately sick country, my friends – and the infection has reached the very bones and marrow of this once so noble and God-fearing land:
WACO, Texas — School administrators gave a 4-year-old student an in-school suspension for inappropriately touching a teacher’s aide after the pre-kindergartner hugged the woman.
A letter from La Vega school district administrators to the student’s parents said that the boy was involved in “inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment” after he hugged the woman and he “rubbed his face in the chest of (the) female employee” on Nov. 10.
If you enjoyed this post, subscribe today to get free updates by email or RSS.
