Drunk diving: between a croc and a hard place…
People can be incredibly stupid when they set their minds to it.
Like this guy:
The world’s worst robber was on the run last night after bungling four raids in four hours.
The woolly-hatted gunman, said to be in his 30s, first struck at 10.25am on Saturday in the centre of Doncaster, South Yorks.
He burst into the Bradford & Bingley Building Society and demanded staff hand over a bag full of cash. He ran out into the crowded street, but had to drop the bag when a security device was activated and dye began spurting from it.
Undeterred, he tried again just over an hour later at the Halifax - where he queued for 20 minutes before making a cashier hand over a bundle of notes. But once more his luck was out. He was tackled by a heroic member of the public and fled minus the cash after a brief struggle.
Just 30 minutes later the raider climbed into a taxi and demanded money. The terrified cabbie leapt out of the moving vehicle and it crashed into a road sign - forcing the gunman to escape on foot.
He hijacked a Peugeot 206 from a woman at a local filling station before attempting his final heist at around 2.30pm. This time he snatched a box from Group 4 security officer at a Co-Op in nearby Conisbrough … only to find it was empty.
Some people love conspiracy theories. From the landing on the moon (and Elvis on Venus), through Kennedy’s grassy knoll towards Twin Tower moments: someone is always ‘covering up’ something.
These ‘theories’ are always (mildly) entertaining but they all have this very basic flaw: they don’t account for the fact that people and organisations simply are too stupid to pull off any conspiracy for any serious length of time.
This whole Big Brother thing – and the state’s forces of darkness spying on your every move.
Well, in the end it always comes down to this kind of thing:
EASTBOURNE The crew of a Ministry of Defence helicopter broke low-flying rules, causing hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of damage to a Sussex mansion, so that they could spy on an au-pair who was sunbathing, the High Court was told yesterday.
People are, in effect, the best argument against that other nonsense ‘theory’: Intelligent Design.
Anyway, people can be quite stupid without any outside help – but when you throw in alcohol, things really can get hilarious fast. (Mind you, there’s this one guy, whom I wouldn’t trust with a remote controlled rubber duckie, who did made most of his stupid mistakes after he stopped drinking…)
Anyway, you know how public health & safety campaigns always go on and on about the perils of ‘drink driving’.
Maybe they should consider dropping an ‘r’ there:
An Australian who went for a drunken dip in the sea got more than he bargained for when he dived into the jaws of a large crocodile.
Matt Martin was camping alone near a beach in northern Queensland when he decided to go for a dusk swim, despite having drunk what he later admitted was “half a slab”, or 12 cans of beer.
When the 35-year-old construction worker dived into a wave, he butted heads with a submerged saltwater crocodile.
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