Turning tricks & violent treats (Scary Halloween stories)
It probably won’t have escaped your notice that Halloween is lurching round the corner like a desperate hooker or a senator on the take. So, it won’t come as a surprise exactly that the moron brigade has started to make its usual stupid noises again as well:
A primary school is considering plans to abandon its Halloween celebration in case it offends religious parents.
Teachers want to rename the party planned for the night of October 31 as an “Autumn Festival”.
Mind you, it is certainly true that, in the words of Abraham Lincoln, while most people take offence some of the time, some people are offended all of the time – and some of these good folks have no trouble at all articulating this:
A woman says a neighbour attacked her inflatable Halloween lawn display of three ghosts and a giant pumpkin.
Garcia said she heard hollering and swearing and looked outside to see Odee struggling with the giant pumpkin. “He was enraged. I could see that,” she said.
When she yelled at him to go away, Odee charged the house. She fled through the back door with three of her children and heard window glass breaking. She called 911 from another neighbour’s house. Police said Odee used his head to smash a window to get in.
However, while this proves that some people aren’t exactly party animals, others are perhaps a bit too fond of the pleasure principle – and going for the odd ‘trick or treat’ in highly original if somewhat dubious ways:
WOODLAND, Calif. (AP) — A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases.
His lawyer says dental journals discuss the need to massage the pectoral muscles to treat a common jaw problem.
However, Deputy Attorney General Jeffrey Phillips gave the judge three new complaints, including one from a 31-year-old woman who said Anderson fondled her at least six times over two years.
She took to wearing tight shirts with high necklines, “and Anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra,” according to a police report.
Still, who needs cheap sex stories, when Halloween is approaching? We want scary stuff, not skimpy knickers stories.
Ah well, as the Stones sang all these years ago, ‘You can’t always get what you want’...:
It’s the question that haunts ghosts and goblins of any age this time of year:
What am I going to be for Halloween?
But for young women on the hunt for something extra special, Tinseltown can be a gold mine.
Trashy Lingerie in Los Angeles has designed intimate apparel for Hollywood’s glitterati for more than 30 years. Madonna, Nicole Kidman, Heather Locklear, Carmen Electra and Paris Hilton have all snared slips and snips of the spicy lingerie wear.
But Halloween calls for something extra special.
Well, but of course it does…
So, I’ll leave you with this lovely image:
Nicole Kidman has snatched up a pirate costume. Paris Hilton is being fitted for a bunny disguise. And Carmen Electra will take a turn as a French maid.
Or, in the language of Match of the Day:
Turning tricks: one
A rare treat: nil.
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October 15th, 2007 at 09:03
So here in the USA, Halloween has been renamed–
Fall Festival==no scary masks–nothing allowed but princesses and Disney characters–boring=
why, no Casper-Dacula-mummy-no Jason-et al–they are deemed Satan’s work so Halloween is not what it used to be
October 16th, 2007 at 00:27
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