Sex: Naked nuns and other male fantasies (Plus: What women really want…!)
Yes, it’s another sex column! But not the kind of vulgar trash, with nuns showing their tits, or…
… what did you say?
Oh…
Okay, it seems we do have some nuns showing their tits. Ah well…:
Plans to erect a sign with the image of a bare-breasted nun outside a seaside resort hotel, converted from a convent, have angered councillors.
Tenby Town Council is urging planners to refuse permission for the sign which depicts a nun lifting her bodice.
They claim it is “disrespectful and inappropriate” for use outside the former St Teresa’s Convent building.
However they are supporting plans to turn the convent into a luxury hotel, restaurant and bar.
But it’s not just gratuitous sex. We also have scientists…!
And for once we can’t possibly disagree with their findings:
The Y chromosome is probably the weirdest chromosome in the human genome.
Scientists already knew that it determines the male sex, but other than that it was considered a genetic junkyard. It contains very few actual genes.
The rest is repetitious.
Yes, you can say that again. Besides being weird. Mr Y. is indeed also admirably focused on just that one little thing: getting some.
You know, if you’d tell the average guy he could make three wishes, the results would probably be, more or less, as follows:
1) Doing it with a “busty young woman in a revealing nurse’s outfit”:
An Australian company is seeking real life testers for its condom products.
“Got what it takes to be an official condom tester?” asks an advertisement launched by Durex Australia next to a photo of a busty young woman in a revealing nurse’s outfit.
The “bed-testing” position is unpaid, but 200 selected testers would be up for free pack of Durex products, plus a bonus prize of A$1,000 ($854) for one lucky winner, White said.
Since most men do have a serious breast fixation, it won’t come as a surprise that most men would also go for:
2) Being paid to look at tits:
Whether small or large, pert or pendulous, they all have their admirers. But there is one type of breast that most approaches perfection, a cosmetic surgeon claims.
Mr Mallucci will present his findings at the first international conference on breast enlargement, to be held in London this week.
In his lecture, titled Concepts in Design for Breast Augmentation, he will express the hope that his insights are used by surgeons providing breast enlargements.
The operation is Britain’s most popular cosmetic surgery procedure, with 6,156 performed last year.
Patrick Mallucci spent many hours poring over photos of topless models in lads magazines and tabloid newspapers to formulate his theory.
Most men also dream of the following scenario, of course: that the phone rings and someone with a peculiar kind of inverted penis envy at the other end asks if it would be possible for the person picking up the phone to come over and
3) help the caller out by having sex with the man’s beautiful fiancée…:
A man in Germany who was embarrassed about his penis size is facing charges, after asking his girlfriend to have sex in the dark – and getting his brother to stand in.
Manfred Schuh, 26, feared he would lose his 24-year-old girlfriend if he did not ‘perform well’, so he insisted on keeping the lights off during sex and going to the toilet beforehand.
His brother Walter, 28, would then enter the room and have sex with the woman. She found out after two months – when she turned the light on.
Still, all of the above could be boiled down to just one fervent male wish: that all the individual females of the species would want to sleep with him as desperately as he would like to have sex with them.
And you know what? It’s just about possible that that is going to happen quite soon…
Yes, it’s those freaky scientists again:
Female mice apparently become as randy as males after their senses of smell are tampered with, ending up aggressively trying to mount any mouse that moves, research now reveals.
The mice began chasing, mounting and thrusting pelvises against other mice, both male and female, as well as giving out ultrasonic mating calls and sniffing derrieres.
“These results are flabbergasting,” Dulac said. “Nobody had imagined that a simple mutation like this could induce females to behave so thoroughly like males.”
These findings open the question as to whether circuits for male behavior exist in a dormant state in females, and vice versa, in other species — including in humans.
Anyway, that’s what men want. So, now for the big one…:
What do women want?
And pickle my pecker and call it Pinocchio but once again those scientists claim they’ve found the answer:
Being exposed to the smell of a sweaty male armpit can make a woman feel calmer, according to a new study by a U.S. research team.
In the study, reported in the journal Biology of Reproduction, scientists placed pads under the armpits of male donors to collect sweat. They then put concentrated compounds extracted from the sweat under the noses of female volunteers.
After being exposed to the smells for six hours the women reported feeling less tense and more relaxed.
Mind you, chloroform would do the job much quicker, but hey, if that’s what women want, who are we to argue?
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