The Top Ten Travellers on the Expat Dream-to-Dust Express (The card is always greener on the other side.)
The wheel of time is a carney’s wet dream. So, yes, come on up, folks and place your bets. Round and round and round she goes – and where she stops…
…well, we’ll just take it right from the top – and in alphabetic order, no less. So, here’s our top ten of weird and wonderful expats, brought to you, from the bowels of time and all contrary points of the compass.
Hell, let’s make it a very odd eleven – with no extra charge!
ADAM;
Father of the species - which explains quite a lot, in fact. He had to move away from where he was created, following a dispute with the local grocer. Something to do with the price of fruit.
BRAUN, WERNHER VON;
German born rocket scientist. Made a rather smart career move in the mid-forties and left Germany for the USA. Made himself very popular with his new bosses. Hence: Braunie points.
COLUMBUS;
Nitwit. Went out for a curry, ended up with a big Mac.
DOROTHY;
Left Kansas for a better place. But then again, who doesn’t?
FLIPPER;
Left a shark-infested ocean for a steady job in the shark-infested world of TV. Where he had to put up with an obnoxious, red-haired, Australian kid - and lots of reruns. Smart move, Flipper!
HANNIBAL;
Moved from Africa to Italy, by way of the Alps, riding an elephant. There is one born every minute.
HITLER;
Austrian-born house-painter, turned Führer, turned stark raving mad.
KHOMEINI;
Born in Persia. Lived in France for a while, sipping Anisette on the boulevard Champs Élysées, watching the lovely Parisiennes go by. Then went back to install Islamic rule in Iran. Maybe better known as book critic and incidental sales promoter for Salmon Rushdie.
PLATH, SYLVIA;
American poet who moved to England and was exposed to the English weather, all types of disgusting, English food and an English husband. Subsequently committed suicide.
SCHWARZENEGGER, ARNOLD;
Austrian born muscle model, turned thespian. Moved to the USA, when the European Union seriously started to crack down on the illegal administration of steroids to live stock animals.
SUPERMAN;
Migrated from planet Krypton to the USA, where he changed his name and, like so many other hapless immigrants, came to grief. In the end he practically lived out of phone booths.
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September 13th, 2007 at 20:39
Hey there,
I have never heard this bowie song. It’s one of the best I’ve heard. Thanks for the back and back forth, it was fun, I wish I was better at keeping my temper in check. Cause I can be such a punk sometimes. Anyway if you ever find yourself in the Pacific Northwest I’ll get you a pitcher (and no you wouldn’t even have to drink it with me)
Y
September 13th, 2007 at 20:44
No problem. But I’ve said I wouldn’t return to the States as long as Bush was still in the White House, so that pitcher will have to wait a bit longer.