The cup that cheers: breast fixation (Sexual Neurosis, Part One.)
There is an old Melanie song, called Psychotherapy, that starts like this:
Oh mine eyes have seen the glory of the theories of Freud,
He has taught me all the evils that my ego must avoid.
Repression of the impulses result in paranoid
As the id goes marching on.
Glory glory psychotherapy, glory glory sexuality,
Glory glory now we can be free as the id goes marching on
Catchy little tune and quite a hit in its time – but we’ll leave it there for the moment, because, here, in the present, Lucy Mangan, one of the Guardian’s columnists, has written a book about dating, and about girls, and about girls dating.
Here are her ten ‘Secrets To A Long-Lasting Relationship:’
1 Separate interests
2 Separate workplaces
3 Separate televisions
4 Separate beds
5 Separate meals
6 Separate houses
7 Separate friends
8 Separate holidays
9 Separate Christmasses
10 Separate bank accounts
You may have noticed that, strangely enough, ’separate wardrobes’ did not make this list. An oversight that will most probably be corrected in the second edition of this quite wonderful book, since a stricter separation of wardrobes could have saved many a relationship – and even lives:
A 43-year-old Thai man was found dead wearing 15 bras and a mini-skirt belonging to his estranged wife.
Relatives of the man, who formerly worked as an optician in Bangkok, told police he had been suffering depression since his wife left him for another man and had been taking painkillers washed down with coffee several times a day.
It is, of course, not just Bangkok’s opticians who have a breast fixation. In the West, and maybe most prominently so in the USA, the pursuit of happiness has been replaced by the ever more bizarre pursuit of the ever-enhancing tit. An obsession that by now has reached well beyond all seemliness – and even well beyond the grave:
The late model Anne Nicole Smith’s lawyer, Howard Stern, has gone to court to prevent the now retired Dr Gerald Wayne Johnson from “selling, distributing or otherwise disseminating” a video of the breast augmentation surgery of his late client.
Smith, a former Playboy Playmate of the Year, model, topless dancer and reality television star died on February 8 in Florida after collapsing from an accidental drug overdose.
In court documents, Stern accused Johnson of sending a tape showing the procedure to Thomas Riccio, a Los Angeles-based memorabilia dealer.
It is nice to see how doctors are still obeying that old Hippocratic oath: first do no harm to your own bank account.
(To be continued)
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September 26th, 2007 at 16:58
[...] a bonus prize of A$1,000 ($854) for one lucky winner, White said. Since most men do have a serious breast fixation, it won’t come as a surprise that most men would also go [...]