Plagued! (Jesus Christ Superstore)
You all know the story of Job: a pious man, ignored and left to his sorry fate by a God with gambling issues and a deeply uncaring world.
Well, some stories have legs – and even if they don’t, there’s always that good old remake market:
A 72-year-old Kansas minister with medical problems is recovering in a hospital Friday after he was apparently left sitting in a wheelchair on a curb outside Orlando International Airport for three days.
Kenneth Davis was reported missing this week when family members in Wichita lost contact with him after an AirTran flight to Orlando. Davis was scheduled to attend a Florida gospel conference this week, the family said.
Mind you, most of the time God and His people are not so easily ignored - and it’s not just Him and His followers, doing the proselytizing. These days even the bloody eggplants are at it:
A woman in Camden County says she found images of three angels, inside a white eggplant.
Martino says she sliced the eggplant into thin pieces, and towards the end she saw the angels formed out of seeds.
Do I hear indifferent mutters…? Shoulders being raised and shrugged, in that old ’so what’ shuffle. Ha! Read and weep. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. They really are out to get us:
Felicia Teske of Boothwyn, Delaware County says she was preparing fried eggplant for dinner Sunday evening and noticed that the seeds in one slice seemed to spell out the word “GOD”.
Worse, if at eggplants He does not succeed, God is always ready to hit us with another one of His plague specials. Never mind, if people are no longer terribly impressed with locusts, or rivers running with blood, the slaughter of the first-born or other happy house calls: God can always be trusted to come up with something much, much nastier.
Like Jehovah’s witnesses.
Yes, and you may think you have found ways to deter them but that’s an illusion. Block one of these pests’ points of entrance and they will just find other ways to bug you…
Worse, God’s clowns are truly everywhere and they are no longer happy to merely preach from pulpits, do their house to house acts of terror, infest our radios and TV screens or go out and convert a few heathens, armed with Bible and, well, arms.
No, they are now also heavily involved in the entertainment business. They make games, Jesus toys, and movies – and recently they have added an honest-to-God, amusement park type museum to their divert & convert spiel.
From their own brochure:
Walk through the Garden of Eden. The Tree of Life, central to the garden, stretches out its branches, laden with ripened fruits. Come face-to-face with a sauropod, a dinosaur of incredible dimensions. His monstrous frame moves through the low-lying thicket as he grazes on plants. Introduce yourself to our chameleons. Examine bones, a clutch of eggs from a dinosaur, an exceptional fossil collection, and a mineral collection. Walk through the Cave of Sorrows and see the horrific effects of the Fall of man. Sounds of a sin-ravaged world echo through the room. Finally, see the sacrificial Lamb on the cross, and the hope of redemption.
You know, when you read stuff like that you can’t help but almost wish that one of these creatures of ‘incredible dimensions and monstrous frame’ would have stuck into Adam before Adam could have stuck into that piece of fruit.
In a weird way, it would have saved us a Hell of a lot of aggro in the long run.
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