Happy days (Blow wind blow, blow me away here. Blow wind blow.)
Once upon a time, life was simple. You could tell a story in about ninety minutes – and the only ingredients you needed was some real scary monster, or some intriguing (or insane) villain and, of course, one of those strong, silent type heroes, who would always bring that old happy ending safely home.
That – with some popcorn and a Coke – was all that was really required from any story. Or life, for that matter.
Nowaday, things are so complicated – and so ugly with it.
Our leaders look like cartoon characters, while the cartoon figures just look plain weird – and what used to be slightly skewed only gets weirder… and weirder… and yes, positively demented.
So, it is with some pride and no small relief that we can announce today, that finally, we saw some of those old values restored. Yes, one man made a stand, and decided to turn back the clock, to show us sweet glimpses of an older, more innocent and by far more predictable world.
So, Paris, Lindsay and Britney: take note. This is how a true pop star behaves…!
Harpies, ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Keith Richards…!!!
Keith explained that the matter may have become confused because, while he ingested his dad, he didn’t mix him with cocaine, as some people reported.
“The cocaine bit was rubbish. I said I chopped him up like cocaine, not with”, said Keith before confirming in an interview on NME.com that the rest of it was 100% straight up legit.
“I pulled the lid off (my father’s urn) and out comes a bit of dad on the dining room table. I’m going, ‘I can’t use the brush and dustpan for this’.
“What I found out is that ingesting your ancestors is a very respectable way of … y’know, he went down a treat.”
Ah yes, such happy, carefree times.
One would wish that that good old Past would have remained an only child and never had ended up with those two ugly little brothers: Present & Future.
Ah yes, this brave new world of ours is rotten as the state of Denmark, as Hamlet used to say, and it ain’t smelling like any teen spirit you’d ever like to date.
Right, now I’m starting to sound like I inhaled someone’s dad. Time to go – but not before we’ve listened to Keith and the boys again.
So, just take us away, lads, for one more, last time.
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