Into your hands, I command the voice of reason.
You know what’s the most popular game these days – played by young and old? You don’t know? Well, don’t look at me like I’ve just buried your damn puppy alive: I’ll tell you already!
it’s the blame game. Yes, you do know it! It goes like this:
Eileen Amy Politano, of North Fort Myers, Fla., was charged with felony child neglect Friday after leaving an 11-month-old girl in a car while she went into a grocery store.
Politano told police she intended to run into the store for a few minutes to buy some meat for dinner, but said there were too many specials to pass up.
And you know what makes the blame game extra special? it’s not just people who can play; it’s whole countries too:
Nearly half of the pregnant teens in China’s financial hub, Shanghai, met their partners on the Internet, state media said on Tuesday.
Doctors blamed the situation on adult Web sites, videos and books and appealed to parents, teachers and society at large to pay more attention to sex education.
A survey by Zhang’s hospital found that only 7.9 percent of the parents queried talked to their children about sex, and 79 percent of high school and university students said they got their ideas about sex from the Internet.
Of course, and this is the beauty of the game, there’s always somewhere to turn, when it seems there’s no-one left to blame but yourself. So, yes, when in doubt, blame Bush:
With all the destruction man has wrought on the environment since he first crawled out of his primordial goo, it’s nice to see Mother Nature even the score every once in a while. When that infernal bridge collapsed yesterday, it was as if the Mighty Mississippi had finally cast off the steel shackles that had enslaved her and was at last free to flow unobstructed by man’s technological wizardry. It was a shame that so many innocents had to die for the river to gain her freedom, but the blame for their tragic deaths lies solely on Bush’s shoulders.
(Or, if your tastes run more to the cleavage kind of thing, blame Hillary. This, from a somewhat outdated newsflash:
Enjoying a comfortable lead over her GOP punching-bag opponent in her Senate re-election bid, New York’s own Hillary Clinton was cast by evangelist Jerry Falwell as a favorite candidate for the 2008 presidential election:
“I certainly hope that Hillary is the candidate,” Falwell said at a breakfast session Friday in Washington. “I hope she’s the candidate, because nothing will energize my (constituency) like Hillary Clinton,” he said. “If Lucifer ran, he wouldn’t.”)
Ah, there you are: at last! I was waiting for you to show up around now.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention for a moment? Fine. Now, let me introduce you to the hand-wringing voice of so-called reason. So, give us a big hand for the voice – and yes, there she blows…:
“But what kind of example will all of this set for our children?”
That was it? That was the best you can do? Then begone, foul dinosaur!
Bad example for the children, my foot. Believe me, give them a few years and they will be better at this whole blame game than any of us grown-ups. Kids learn fast these days – and they are as used to being sold out from day one, as they are willing to do some serious soul-selling themselves, at the first opportunity that arises.
Hell, and God knows I’m not exactly giving away state secrets here when I say that the first thing you need to know when you do want to sell out is how to divert all blame from yourself.
So, believe me, the future of the blame game will rest in pretty safe hands indeed.
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