My daddy was on Oprah and all he brought back was this lousy image.
Let’s start with an old graveyard story.
In the south of England there’s a grave that carries the following inscription:
“Sacred to the memory of MAJOR JAMES BRUSH, tragically killed by the accidental discharge of his pistol in the hand of his orderly. 14th April 1831″
There’s also a Bible text, at the bottom of the gravestone, that reads:
“Well done, good and faithful servant.”
Now, let’s go to Germany, where, last week,
the German Protestant Church compared the Hollywood film star Tom Cruise to the Nazi propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels and claimed the actor was using his celebrity status to publicise the controversial Church of Scientology, of which he is a prominent member.
In other words, chances are slim that Tom Cruise will win any ‘faithful servant’ prizes in Germany, any time soon.
It is certainly true that people can be very strange and are able to lose their heads anywhere and anytime over any damn thing. They are also easily led by any criminal or mad, pie in the sky piper.
So, in itself, it is admirable that these church leaders want to protect their flock from harmful influences – even if, in doing so, they seem to go a little bit overboard here, like another, overprotective shepherd did.
Still, you can understand this. I mean, talking about easily led, look at the US, where the Republicans are currently having a bit of an image problem.
Their overall leader is not the most eloquent kid on the block, while the rest of the government is either spending too much time in brothels or, like good Genesis monkeys, down on their knees, waiting and fervently praying for the world to end.
However, with all of that going on and with all the endless talk about the unpopularity of Bush, one tends to forget that a cool 30% of all voting Americans would still follow him and his party anywhere, like a demented flock of Japanese Coke junkies.
Having said all that though – and readily admitting that people can be incredible idiots…:
Tom Cruise? Tom bleeding Cruise?? Tom ‘I went on Oprah & insane’ Cruise???
I’d really suggest the German protestant church cease to bother about the bad influence this Hollywood freak would have on the German people. Toady Tom might easily be as mad as Goebbels but these days he’d have trouble giving away cocktails in an all male whorehouse.
We started in some cemetery, so let’s end this in another:
Three men who dug up a young woman’s corpse to have sex with it after seeing her obituary photo cannot be charged with attempted sexual assault because Wisconsin has no law against necrophilia, an appeals court ruled Thursday.
In other words, dear German church leaders, stop fretting so.
This side of eternity, the chances of Tom Cruise converting any souls in Germany are about as good as those three idiot gravediggers’ are to get lucky with any living Wisconsin females.
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