Get blasted
NASA’s astronauts have flown while intoxicated on at least two occasions, according to reports of an internal NASA investigation, and the astronauts involved were warned that their drunkenness constituted a safety risk to the flight. But it is unclear whether this is a current problem and whether the incidents involved space shuttle flights.
The report, which has not been released, was described in an article published yesterday on the Web site of Aviation Week and Space Technology. According to the article, the panel investigators reported ” ‘heavy use of alcohol’ by astronauts” within 12 hours of flying.
Ah well, drunk asstronauts…; whatever next? It’s like the poet said:
The sun must be a liquid,
molten fire -
one gigantic Johnny Walker in the sky.
The moon an afterthought,
an aspirin -
small wonder all those astronauts get blasted.
Three o’ clock:
the hour of Rubicon.
One more drink and I am home and here to stay.
I could pay the bill and leave
under the pale, protective sign
of Sister Aspirin.
One more drink and mine
are all the blessings and the stigmata
of Brother Walker.
INCOMING: What kind of job openings are there for alcoholic ex-astronauts? Ah yes, of course…
They become flying instructors!
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