If triangles had a God, He’d have three sides
Fighting words today, people! So, get your bucket of cold throwing water – or get thee to a bomb shelter now…
No, it’s not Bush and Cheney going Strangelove over Iran. Not yet, anyway.
Neither is it the American Congress, declaring war on the Iraqi parliament’s August holiday planner, though they are sulking a bit.
According to the Guardian’s Simon Jenkins, there’s not even a chance of a Rocky 666 blockbuster, this summer, between the new Gordon and the old Vlad:
The pundits are misty-eyed with nostalgia. Just when the so-called war on terror is looking passe, the old cold war is back. Four-hour waits at Heathrow and a handful of beards in the slammer are no match for Dr Strangelove, Checkpoint Charlie and George Smiley.
What is a fertiliser bomb against the awesome carapace of mutually assured destruction? For most people, foreign policy is a cliché. With the Russian bear behaving badly again we can relax to default mode and flip diplomats like tiddlywinks.
It’s not even the Christians this time, declaring war on Felis domestica, for mocking the Baby Jesus - but you’re definitely getting warmer.
No, no: it’s not our friendly Islamist suicide sociopaths either. After this month’s PR disaster they’ve probably decided to go on some kind of refresher course. Yes, a crash course, if you want.
No, strangely enough it’s some Hebrew rabbi-rousers who are running amok, this time round,
The figure responsible for Israel’s latest religious row is a bespectacled British teenager who is gifted with magical powers, world famous and entirely fictional.
The synchronized worldwide launch of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,” the seventh and last installment in the wildly popular series, falls at 2:01 a.m. local time this Saturday, on the Jewish Sabbath, when Israeli law requires most businesses to close.
Still, the Sabbath is there for man, right? Man not for the Sabbath. That’s what Jesus…
Ah…
Yes, Jews don’t do Jesus – and some of them aren’t big on H.P. either:
Avraham Ravitz of the United Torah Judaism Party slammed the Potter books for their “defective messages”
“We don’t have to be dragged like monkeys after the world with this subculture, and certainly not while violating our holy Sabbath,” Ravitz said in a statement.
Ah well, that’s one man’s opinion, so…
No, it’s not:
“Israeli law forbids businesses to force their employees to work on the Sabbath, and that applies in this case as well. The minister will fine and prosecute any businesses which violate the law,” said Roei Lachmanovich, a spokesman for Yishai, of the ultra-0rthodox Jewish Shas party.
Alright! That’s more like it. So, they’ve got God and Harold Bloom on their side – the Pope, even – and now they will sick the law on Rowling’s wonderboy as well.
Let’s hope the bookstores won’t fold too quickly.
And they won’t!
Steimatzky, Israel’s biggest bookstore chain, is holding a gala event in Tel Aviv beginning Friday night to launch the book, and the company has no plans to change the time, said spokeswoman Alona Zamir.
Great. Coming to a theatre near you, soon: Harry Potter and the Rabbis of Overkill.
I can’t wait.
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