For a fistful of dollars
It’s always dangerous to play that still popular game, What would Jesus have done?
Fact is, we don’t know. We can’t know. Do you know what your wife or husband is thinking, your siblings, your children? Your boss or personnel? Your dog?
And you still want to claim you can read Jesus like some carnie’s crystal ball…?
People do love to play the game though – and until Jesus will come down from Heaven to come down hard on those who try to use Him as a hand puppet, the game will probably not run out of fashion anytime soon.
So, with one hand on the Bible and the other holding something alcoholic, let’s have a go at it ourselves.
You remember this quote?
Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
and yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Yeah, I know. Not exactly life in the 21st century as we know it. We do tend to worry a bit more than old king Solomon. That’s why we’re more into insurance than lilies, to be honest.
Jesus might not wholeheartedly approve of that but He knows us, and He is in the forgiveness business, after all.
It’s less likely though that He’d be very comfortable with individuals or churches who’d take out insurance to cover their arses against possible future sins:
Like any business, churches, synagogues, and other religious organizations purchase insurance to protect themselves from lawsuits, like discrimination claims or negligence charges against officers. Since the spike in sex-abuse lawsuits in the mid-1980s, churches have also had the option to take out extra liability policies for damages related to sexual misconduct.
It’s almost funny to imagine the Pope and his cardinals do a round of ‘What would Jesus have done?’ and come up with, ‘Stop the rape of children? Meh, we’re insured!’
So, it could just be that the Vatican has placed itself firmly on the Son of God’s shit list with this.
If so, it’s most likely not the only name there. Wal-mart might also have a bit more than second thoughts about some of the stuff they’ve been up to lately. Like the stocking of a certain game:
Left Behind Games’ president, Jeffrey Frichner, says the game actually is pacifist because players lose “spirit points” every time they gun down nonbelievers rather than convert them.
Anyway, losing a few points for a bit of Christian slaughter is neither here nor there, cause they
can earn spirit points again by having their character pray.
So, that’s alright then – and what’s more,
“You are fighting a defensive battle in the game,” Frichner, whose previous company produced Bible software, said of combatting the Antichrist. “You are a sort of a freedom fighter.”
Lovely.
Despite fierce protests,
a Wal-Mart spokeswoman said the retailer has no plans to pull Left Behind: Eternal Forces from any of the 200 of Wal-Mart’s 3,800 stores that offer the game.
Well, Wal-Mart will find out in time what Jesus makes of people who think massacring people is part of the ‘Turn the other cheek’ school of thought.
By the way, as if Wal-Mart wasn’t asking for enough trouble already with their Jesus-says-shoot-them games,
More than 420 Wal-Mart stores nationwide will sell faith-based toys that include Jesus and Samson action figures.
So far Jesus hasn’t been available for comment but one of His former disciples (J.I.) has told a CNN reporter,
Hey, I thought I was the only one who was allowed to sell out our Lord!
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