Bring your disgruntled and desperate and dead-ugly, suicidal masses and let us give you another match.
So, another terrorist has tried to get to Heaven, the bloody-minded way - in a million little (and bloody) pieces.
The Jeep Cherokee, wreathed in flames, was crashed into the doors of the main terminal building at Glasgow.
With the help of bystanders, the two men inside were overpowered and arrested. One, thought to be the driver, threw petrol over himself and set it alight.
The man is still in a “critical” condition at Paisley’s Royal Alexandra hospital and under armed guard, police said today.
To be honest, I’m a bit puzzled about that last detail. Why take this murderous nitwit to the hospital at all?
Why not simply give the lad’s Jerrycan a refill and hand him a few more matches? And then let someone take out his or her new iPhone, tape the idiot’s hopefully slow and screaming death and send the movie to Youtube.
Still, I do like my terrorists stupid – and dead and crispy, of course. We can only hope more would follow this guy’s lead.
It would be ideal if scores of these mad bastards would convene like those Virgins for Christ at some alternative and truly massive Tupperware party, with their little petrol cans and cigarette lighters and then just have a blast.
You know what? I even have the perfect venue for such a Toast a Terrorist do.
So, where’s that? you still have to ask?
Well, it should be a place as useless, ugly, and as full of hubris as your average suicide bomber.
Yes, the Millennium Dome, of course.
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