The first ten million years were the worst, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of decline.
A recent study showed that chimps aren’t the brightest kids on the block anymore.
Problem is: it was a study done by humans, so trustworthiness is an issue. Douglas Adams (in his famous Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series) once stated, quite convincingly, that homo sapiens was the most intelligent life form on spaceship earth – after the dolphin and the white mouse, that is.
However, if you don’t want to take his word for it, we might try to settle things through an old-fashioned ordeal by fire:
Judge us by our gadgets:Â A Northern California man was badly burned when his cell phone spontaneously combusted. He was sleeping with the phone in his front pants pocket when it exploded and caused his clothes to ignite, according to reports, and he awoke in flames.
Judge us by the way we treat our loved ones: A Fulton County woman doused her boyfriend with gasoline then set him on fire while he was in bed early Saturday, police said. The woman, 39-year-old Cynthia Covington, was also burned.
Judge us by the other kind of company we keep: A catfish called Kipper is being blamed for starting a fire that destroyed his owner’s home. Miss Killahenna said that Kipper was a notoriously belligerent fish and often fought with other occupants of her 5ft aquarium. She suspects that the fish’s antics caused water to splash on to a power socket, starting the chain of events that led to the fire.
You know, whatever that dubious study said about chimps, I’m pretty sure you won’t find chimps having those kinds of problems.
Anyway, enough about the so-called superiority of humans. Or, as Marvin (the paranoid android) would have it, Life? Don’t talk to me about life…
Or, in the more constructive voice of Leonard Cohen - from his Book of Longing,
taxes
children
lost pussy
war
constipation
the living poet
in his harness
of beauty
offers the day
back to g-d
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